The Little Menace and The Joker!

The Little Man has a new name.  The moniker Little Menace fits him perfectly.

He really is one non-stop action three year old boy from the moment he wakes up till the moment he is forced to go to Dreamland to recharge and re-energise! He is forever prancing around up and down the sofa, weaving in and out of furniture, head banging up and down and his voice box going "tong-chiang, tong-chiang"... as he lives out his current dream of being the latest recruit of the Lion Dance troupe. He idolises everything about the Lion Dance [which the Little Man affectionately calls the Tong-Tong-Chiang]. He has watched the Lion Dance 2012 World Competition CD a zillion times...he can even tell you when the Lion is going to fall from the poles and get back up on their feet again. He'll grab any towel that he can find and place it on top of his head and over his back to mimic the Lion troupe before he starts prancing around the house and up and down the sofa, which obviously makes his poor Mummy's heart miss a couple of beats! If he only knew that those Lions' Heads can be bought from Chinatown, he would surely place it on top of his birthday present list! That would result in total havoc at home, as if our home was not noisy & chaotic enough!

Baby Samseng at 13 months

Aside from the Tong-Tong-Chiang, his other passion is mimicking the actions of his favourite contestants in the popular Japanese sports entertainment program "Ninja Warrior" (or Sasuke) where competitors have to complete an extremely challenging four stage obstacle course. All the furniture in our house is somehow visualised and transformed into the many obstacles of the Ninja Warrior obstacle course in the eyes of the Little Menace! Just like in the show, he would bounce off the small indoor trampoline and jump onto the back of sofa and then climb over the cushions to get over the sofa. Except that unlike in the show when the audiences going ooh and aah... and applauding in encouraging the participants, the scene here in KL is different as this little warrior's mother would be screaming her lungs out to "be careful...stop before you hurt yourself ..." His many bruises on his legs are proof of his determination to get through those "obstacles" just like his heroes. The Little Menace has on many occasions proudly told me that "When I big boy, I going to go Ninja Warrior, ok Mummy? I won't fall down in the water, one!"

For those who have never watched Ninja Warrior, tune in to Astro Channel 617 at 1.30...that is his treat for finishing his lunch fast. [Alternatively, click onto www.youtube.com/watch?v=oco3lPfokaU&feature=youtube_gdata_player]. Apart from watching his Lion Dance CD and the National Geographic Wild channel, Ninja Warrior is one of the only other programmes that the Little Menace is allowed to watch. Mr T does not agree, but then he has not really watched the entire program to see how exciting and addictive it can be.

Cheeky Me
(26 months)

 


My Crinkled Nose
(26 months)

The Ninja Warrior Addict
Performing his Balancing Act

      













The Little Menace seems to have an answer to everything. Of late, he is getting rather quick witted with his one-liners! Judge for yourself and let me have your vote if you think the Little Menace deserves his moniker, or would the term Joker be more fitting?!

ACT #1:

Looks can be so, so deceiving!
(at 28 months)

As always, his Loyal Slave has to pretend to snooze with the Little Menace when it comes to his Highness' afternoon nap. He would toss here and there, kick around his cot and make lots of noises just to test his Loyal Slave's patience level. His Loyal Slave has a track record for low tolerance level for nonsense, impatience and quick temperedness. Many a day, I would have to give a little smack on his bottom, or raise my voice, before the Little Menance would realise just how tired he really is, after a hard morning of playing, be it at home or at his playschool. Recently, those little smacks have got harder and harder, and sadly yes, the cane has made quite a few appearances of late.

Sometime last week, the Little Menace once again came up with his tricks.  Whilst trying to keep my cool, I calmly said, "Do you think you can please just close your eyes and sleep without Mummy having to scold you to sleep?". The response that the Little Menace's alter ego, The Joker, shot back with his cheekiest look was: "CANNOT! I want everybody to scold me, Mummy, Daddy, everybody to scold me, then only I sleep!!"

ACT#2:

Come...I kiss you...
(at 30 months)

 Knowing how enticing and tempting one's own bed can be and to prevent my eye-lids from experiencing an involuntary shutdown, I would often bring my handphone with me to bed in the afternoon and hide it beside my bolster from those prying young eyes and position myself on the bed in such a way that it would look like I was sleeping but actually the corners of my eyes were straining itself to have a quick read of the world news and of course, my daily dose of Hollywood gossip. Needless to say, I was caught red-handed a few times. I was too engrossed with my reading to realise that a little boy had slowly creeped up from his cot and saw me rendezvousing with the little gadget!

Fast forward to one recent afternoon, when instead of the Little Menace commanding me to "CLOSE YOUR EYES, MUMMY", he very cheekily said with his most bewildered look: "Eh, Mummy....where is your handphone?!", knowing very well that my handphone was most likely stucked somewhere under my bolster.

ACT#3:


Born Joker!
(at 30 months)

One hot, sweltering night, I came out of the shower dressed
in my pyjamas shorts and a spaghetti-strapped t-shirt. As I sat at the edge of my bed, the sneeky Joker scrutinised me from my head to my mid-section and whilst slipping his little fingers to do a quick check under the straps of my t-shirt, he exclaimed: "Eh, Mummy! Why you not wearing bra, one?!".
here's the making of a young Casanova.


ACT#4:
On another afternoon, The Joker started crawling on all fours in our bathroom ......
The Loyal Slave: "Please get up and stop crawling on the bathroom floor. Are you a dog?
The Joker retorted back with just ONE word: "WOOF!"
The Loyal Slave could not help but break out in a smile and a giggle under the comforts of her towel which was quickly placed over her face.


ACT#5:

The Joker with his Enlarged Nostrils!
(at 40 months)

In the past, there have been certain external parties referring to the Little Man's boyhood as "Ku-Ku-Bird" when talking to the Little Man. I have never understood why people call it Ku-Ku-Bird, which is a direct translation from the Hokkien name ("ku-ku-chiau") for that organ [I have never understood the origins of the word ku-ku-chiau either!]. So began my constant educating the Little Man that IT is not called Ku-Ku-Bird and "NO, there is no bird between your legs!"

I knew he had passed the grade as I was changing him one day after his shower as he proudly announced "This one [while pointing to that all important male organ] not Ku-ku-bird, right? Bird fly outside right? This one "ku-ku-chiau.". That all important announcement that he made was greeted with thunderous applause and a round of laughter from his proud Mum. This proud Mother is pleased to note that since then, The Little Man has not made any further mention of the phrase "Ku-Ku-Bird".


ACT#6:
During one of my intelligent chit-chats with the Little Man as I was changing him after his shower one afternoon, he raised the all important question..."Mummy is a girl right? And Jing Fong is a boy.". 
To make it clear to him, I then replied "Yes, that's right. Only girls put lipstick, boys don't. Girls have long hair, boys have short hair."
The Little Man became rather defensive and quickly retorted back: "No, mummy has short hair.  Mummy is a girl. Right?"
My mistake.
I quickly calmed the Little Man with a big hug and an even bigger kiss.

I'm Sulking



Kiss Me Quick!



Okay...I'm happy again!

The Joker has the Last Laugh!
(April 2013)

ACT#7:

On one of the many school day mornings when the Loyal Slave had to drag the Little Man out of bed and hurry him through his usual morning routine before going to school, it was The Joker who greeted her!
The Loyal Slave: "Do you want to eat hard-boiled egg for your breakfast?"
The Joker merely nodded.
The Loyal Slave: "If you want, say "Yes, I want to eat egg", or "Yes, Mummy". Don't just nod your head like that."
The Joker retorted back with his ultimate one liner:
"Yes, Humpty Dumpty!!!!"
The Loyal Slave had little choice but to break out in a spontaneous laughter!

The Little Botak and his Polo
(May 2013)

ACT#8:
To date, I have been informed by the teachers and members of staff of his playschool that over 6 of them have been queried by the Joker each time they fail to respond to his early morning greetings. Sometimes when the Little Joker greets them upon reaching school, the teachers are busy or distracted, can't hear him or just inadvertently forget to respond to him. When that happens, the Little Joker with his 39 months of wisdom and all 88cm of him would apparently file his complain to the relevant teacher/staff by asking: "Why you never say Good Morning and High-Five to me today?"

His teachers and staff at his playschool have now learnt to be on high alert when The Joker arrives at school for his good morning rounds!




ACT#9:

Dr Menace
(at 33 months)

Recently whilst I was sending Princess No. 3 to her art class with the Little Man in tow, the Little Man asked for some water which I promptly got for him from the water cooler station at the Music cum Art school.  I warned the Little Man not to touch the water outlet with the red button so as not to scald his finger as the water there would be very hot . With that wise piece of advice, I went off to talk to the art teacher leaving the Little Man to drink his cup of water there.

A couple of minutes later, the Little Man walks over to the other end of the corridor where I was talking to the art teacher, still happily holding on to his cup of water. As soon as I had finished talking to the teacher and said goodbye to Princess No. 3, the Little Man gave me a very smug look and in his softest yet audible voice, he says "Hmmm.....the water so nice and cold!". Sensing something amiss, I immediately took a sip of the water .... it was ICE COLD!!!



I immediately questioned the Little Man, "I thought I told you not to touch the buttons for the water?!"

My politically correct Joker calmly replied, "No, Mummy said cannot touch the red button. I only touch the blue button!!". 

I SURRENDER!!!

ACT#10:
This Little Joker has a really sharp mind as well as ears.  I have been trying to teach him good manners and to speak proper English over the months. For example, it is a BIG NO-NO to say "Nah!" when you want to pass something to someone. The proper way is to say "There you go" and gently pass the thing over to that other person. He has been so good at it, that he has even been correcting his Grand Ma everytime she uses the offending word "NAH!". Another example of Manglish that too many of us use is "Wait, ah!".  I am proud to say that the Little Joker has been well trained to say "Please wait". Of late, the Little Joker has been telling me "It's not 'Please wait', Mummy. You must say 'Please wait, Darling', ok?".


**STARS** all over

Here comes the ultimate one.
How many of us are guilty of saying "Neh-mind" instead of "NEVERMIND"?
Ever since teaching the Little Joker that there is no such word as "Neh-mind", the Little Joker has made it his mission in life to point out and correct anyone and everyone (including his teachers!) who uses the word "Neh-mind". I only had to teach him once before his brain registered it. Unfortunately, old habits die hard for some of us, including his Loyal Slave.  So everytime the word "Neh-mind" accidentally comes out from my mouth even if I am talking to someone else, the Little Joker will somehow be able to catch me using it and come over to give me a little slap on my hand whilst reprimanding me "Hor, Mummy! You said "Neh-mind"!". Of course, the Loyal Slave is rather intelligent herself! So to save face, she convinces the Little Joker that she really did say NEVERMIND but that she said it so fast that it sounded like Neh-Mind! It is the truth. REALLY.
   

He has caught his Big Sister, his Daddy and his teachers saying "Neh-mind" and he has even faulted the Radio DJs. We were listening to Richard and Sarah on the Lite Breakfast show on the way to school this morning when Richard was relating a story and he used the offending word "Neh-mind". Before I even realised it myself, the Little Joker had already highlighted it to me "Mummy, the Uncle said "Neh-mind", but the Aunty very good...she didn't say "Neh-mind"!!"
 


 So vain!
(March 2013)

   

Party Animal
(April 2013)



With One of My Babes
(April 2012)

    

Squashed by the Ladies
(Nov 2012)

 

Completing my 1st puzzle - solo
(1 May 2013)





Recharging for my next Adventure



On my best behaviour with Grand Dad!

Returning the favour ... my turn to spoil Grand Dad
(Grand Dad's birthday, 2013)



Help Me, MUM!
(27 months)



MUM, I'm Being Tortured!

              

Torture Session is Over....
Handsome d!





 

The Joker on his 3rd Birthday!

 


All that Fooling Around has Tired Me Out!

 

Another Grooming Session with Dad
... being cute sure is hard work! (32 months old)

Overgrown Bush ...... I Need Grooming BADLY!

Who Can Resist Me?
MOOOOOO....ACKKK!

Chick Magnet!

 

Looking Cool and Suave!

  ~ Treasures of  a blessed stay-home Mum-of-Four

who despite the challenges thrown daily at her by the Little People,

truly is thankful for being able to experience the day-to-day joy of being

humoured, challenged and entertained by her Little Joker cum Menace,

and who reminisces about the younger days of her Three Princesses,

when she was unable to devote as much time to them as she was
still stuck in the pressure-cooker of the corporate world then.

The Curse of the Hair Cut

The Abashed Editor's note: This post was originally drafted way back in 15 October 2012 and was sadly abandoned in the draft folder for unknown reasons. The dust has since been embarrassingly wiped off, minor grammatical edits carried out with the necessary polishing prior to posting almost 16 months after the events described below took place. Better late than never...please do bear with me.

*********************************************************************************

I spoke too soon.
Not long after finishing off my original draft for my "Hold My Hand" posting, the Little Man rapidly moved up a couple of notches on the Cheekiness Scale. The crazy thing is that one of my SILs (acronym for sister-in-law) and I have noticed that after every haircut, the Little Samseng seems to get naughtier and more daring in his stunts! I know it is hard for anyone to imagine, but trust me, it is so true. So much so, that I am now so weary of taking the Little Samseng for his next haircut! Perhaps I should just let him be a Little Hippie and let him grow his hair out!

Here's the proof after his latest haircut:

1. The Little Samseng took a small stick from who-knows-where at GrandPa (Yeh-yeh) and GrandMa's house and put it in his mouth after dinner one night. GrandMa immediately told him off before reporting his mischief to Mr T and I as we were enjoying some quiet time at the dinner table. The Little Man was duly punished when we reached home as Mr T locked him outside the house in the garage and reprimanded him for a whole five minutes.

The next day, whilst the Little Samseng and I were on our way to pick the Little Genius from kindergarten, we drove past a police rider who had stopped a car by the side of the road. The Little Man promptly said" Mummy, see Policeman ... Policeman catch Daddy ... then giggled to himself. When I stared at him from my rear-view mirror, he then said "policemen, catch Mummy also!" whilst chuckling to himself.


2.The Daily Afternoon Warfare
This October month has been a constant struggle with the Little Samseng to keep to his sleeping routine, i.e. sleeping till at least 9.00 a.m. in the mornings and a 2 hour nap every afternoon. Since that fateful day when we brought him for his latest haircut, the Jackyl in him has taken a back step whilst Mr Hyde is on full display! He now punctually wakes up between the timeframe of 7.45 and 8.10a.m. and his afternoon nap has not reached anywhere the 60 minute mark so far this month! As a result, the Little Samseng now closely resembles Kungfu Panda whilst his blessed mother's already short wick is getting shorter and the fuse is ready to blow up at anytime!

The Little Panda would come up with a string of excuses to not sleep and this had tested my patience to its maximum. His excuses would range from stomach ache (his all time favourite, and the complaint would almost always be accompanied by some sort of wriggling in pain action on the floor), drink water, see Yeh-Yeh, etc.  Dynamites have been exploding left, right and centre for the first ten days of October. I am slowly learning to accept that certain things just can't be changed, so I just need to adapt and accept that I will have very little ME time for at least the next five years.

Before the warfare started this afternoon, I told the Little Samseng to "sleep for so, so long, otherwise I will tell Pin Ku-Ku and Ta Ku-Ku not to give you any Kungfu Panda chocolates (which Ta Ku-Ku had just bought for them from Beijing). The Little Samseng responded to say " I like Yeh-Yeh. I kiss Yeh-Yeh, then Yeh-Yeh give Ching Tom Kungfu Panda chocolate." Upon hearing my response that "Mummy will then tell Yeh-Yeh not to give Ching Tom any chocolate", the Little Samseng replied with a smirk on his face "I kiss Yeh-Yeh two times then Yeh-Yeh give Ching Tom Kungfu Panda chocolate!".

Now, do you sympathise?


3. Ninja Warrior

Lately, the Little Genius, the Little Samseng and their Loyal Slave have been glued to Ninja Warrior on Disney XD channel every weekday lunch time. It is amazing how the urge to watch Ninja Warrior can inspire the Little Genius to gobble up her lunch within 30 minutes (as she is barred from watching it if she exceeds that time frame). Whilst watching the programme, the Little Samseng's vivid imagination always leads him to believe that the living room sofa chairs, stools and his Loyal Slave are part of the obstacles on the Ninja Warrior course. 
Just this afternoon, as I was prepping the Cheeky Samseng for his afternoon nap, he proudly proclaimed himself as the Ninja Warrior and pointed at his Loyal Slave and proclaiming her as "Mummy is Naughty Warrior"!.


I am convinced that The Powers Above intentionally bestowed on all babies and toddlers that irresistable baby smell as it really does act like and antidote for me. When the Little Samseng tries to light up the short wick on my dynamite, my nose will instinctively find its way near to the Little Samseng's rock solid head to get a good sniff of his baby smell. Those couple of sniffs immediately act like an antidote and calms me down and halts my blood pressure from rising any further. Unfortunately, it does not work all the time especially now as he grows older and the irresistable baby smell is partially replaced by the unmistakable sweat of the the Ninja Warrior!!


~ Written by a walking dynamite who is very blessed to have the Little Samseng as her son.

Hold My Hand

It happened only once on that very special night in July, before I put a stop to it.
I confess that it broke my heart to do it, but I had to.
Mr T and I were sound asleep when all of a sudden, in the still of the night, the Little Man said, "HOLD HANDS, MUMMY!".
I kept very still, hoping that he was just talking in his sleep.
And then it happened again. Those three words sounded in the quiet of the night.

Not wanting to wake up Mr T and create a scene in that unearthly hour, I did as I was told! I pulled the Little Man's cot nearer to my side of the bed and held his adorable little hand in between the cot railings. The Little Man gave it a squeeze and said "Good night, Mummy. I love you.". My heart melted as I thought that was rather sweet of the Little Man ... showing his affection and appreciation for his Loyal Servant. That is, until he continued to insist that I hold his hand through the night! It was a rather ackward position as I had to hold his right hand with my left hand through the little gaps of the cot railing. So as soon as I thought that he had fallen back to sleep, I slowly released my grip only to be firmly told "HOLD HANDS, MUMMY!". 

This happened over and over and again until it became increasingly ridiculous to have to lose my much needed sleep over a 30 month old Little Man insisting to hold hands through the night.  Still, I did not have the heart to reprimand him in the still of the night, for fear of wounding his pride and of course, I did not want to evoke any feelings of jealousy with my loyal husband who was sleeping next to me. I compromised by holding just one little finger before we fell deep asleep again ... until now, I am still unsure who fell back to dreamland again that night.

The next evening, as I was chatting to my dear Mama and updating her on what her daughter and grandchildren were up to north of the Causeway, my dearest Mama cracked up laughing when told of the Little Man's antics the night before. When it came to the Little Man's turn to talk to his Po-Po, his Po-Po dispensed her grandmotherly advice to him about not disturbing Mummy and Daddy at night. The dutiful and obedient grandson took heed to the grandmotherly advice and that night and for a few more nights therafter, the Little Man slept through the night with no more hanky-panky.

Since that episode, Mr T and I have stuck to the same routine every night, whereby I leave the bedroom first after singing the Barney "I love you, you love me" song, and then exchanging our goodnight kisses and hugs, telling the Little Man that "Mummy has to wash all the dirty clothes, then Mummy will come back up to sleep. Jing Fong sleep first, okay.". Often the Little Man would reply to lament that he is sweating despite the air-conditioner being on as well as the fan! My standard reply, accompanied by a smile and a nod: "Jing Fong is a big boy. Jing Fong turn your pillow around yourself.". That usually does the trick before I run off for some ME time, albeit after sorting out the dirty laundry!

After a couple of minutes, Mr T then tells the Little Man that "Daddy has to go and wash your milk bottle, Jing Fong is a good boy...sleep first, then Daddy will come and sleep later". The big Little Man's standard reply to this Daddy is "Good night, Daddy. Off all the lights.". Occasionally, the Little Man will try and bargain with his Daddy for a few more minutes of 'together-time' by giving lame excuses ... need to shhh-shhh..., poo-poo, sweating...", but his Daddy is always able to immediately put a stop to it on those occasions.

So that is how Mr T and I managed to train the Little Man to go to sleep by himself at the ripe old age of 31 months! Not quite a text-book kind of way, but it worked out well without distressing the little kiddo.

Fast forward to a month later in August...
After finishing my nightly chores, I crept quietly into my bedroom for my nightly bathroom routine as my two favourite men lay fast asleep. As I was flossing my teeth, I suddenly heard a little voice going "Ehh..Mummy...where Mummy?". As I peeped out of the bathroom, I saw the Little Man half-standing, pointing to my side of the bed and asking himself the all important question "eh..why Mummy not there one?". When the Little Man spotted me peeping out of the bathroom, he then self-declared "Oh, Mummy finish doing clothes, read newspapers, d". I gave the irresistable Little Man a kiss and said Good Night to him. He returned to his sleeping position and off he went to dreamland again. Unbelievable. I did wonder to myself whether he had been pretending to be asleep for the last hour, or if he was sleep-talking before concluding that his senses were just too highly sensitive to the smells and movements of his Loyal Servant.

The Little Man IS growing up really fast.
Surrounded by his 3 sisters, his aunts, grandparents and all that activity that keeps our home buzZ, buzZ, buzZing everyday, he picks up words from all of us very quickly and is quite a genius at mimicking our actions. Recently, his sisters received a letter each from Po-Po. The envelope was addressed to Princess No. 3, who then delivered the respective letters to Sister No. 1 and Sister No. 2. As she was in the process of doing so, the Little Man clearly did not want to feel left out. He pleaded to his Sister No. 3 "Ching Tom also want letter from Po-Po, can? Can San Jie?". I am still unsure whether he knew exactly what this exchange of letters with Po-Po was about; he just did not want to feel left out. When I later related this to my dearest Mama, she quickly got to work and sent the Little Man a letter stuck with pictures of racing cars and a bull-dozer on it!

A little more than a month ago, I received word from one of the kindergarten teachers that the Little Genius has apparently not been completing her Maths homework. Tiger Mum here got all upset and reprimanded the Little Genius in the car on the way home from kindie. When we alighted from the car, the Little Genius appeared to stand frozen at the door-way. I pretended not to notice as I was not about to coax her after my reprimand session. Instead, I spotted the Little Man quietly telling his San Jie "Come, Ching Tom hold your hand, k?" and proceeded to lovingly hold her hand ever so lightly to lead her into the house.

Upon returning from dinner at GrandPa's house a couple of weeks ago, I was about to alight from the car when I asked the Little Man to help me carry the clean kitchen rags and hand-towels (that MIL's maid had helped me wash) down from the car. My instructions were very clear: "Please help Mummy take these cloths inside".  The Little Man happily took the cloths from me and entered the Zoo. As I entered the Zoo, I was distracted by the usual whines of the Whining Queen. As soon as I settled her, I walked straight into the kitchen to prepare their nightly ritual of Cod Liver Oil and their other vitamin supplements before packing them off to bed.  To my utter surprise, I found my Little Man quietly sitting by the kitchen drawer trying to stuff in the clean rags and hand-towels into the drawer. It just melted my heart to see my Little Man acting all grown-up ... he had walked that extra mile that none of his three sisters have ever done in that regard.The usual response I would get if I had passed the clean rags to any of the girls would either be "Mummy, where to put the hand-towels?", or "Mummy, I put the hand-towels on the stairs, ok?".

I was so plesantly taken aback by the Little Man's action that all I could manage out of my mouth was "Ooowwww...you're so sweet. Thank you so much" whilst patting his shoulders and kissing his forehead. This of course instantly attracted the attention of the other Zoo members who rushed to see what all that "Oohh....Ahhhh....Ooowwww......" was all about. I just could not resist the temptation and said "Wow! See what your little brother is doing all by himself without me asking him to do it!". Their eyes spoke what their mouths failed to say ... "Ai-ya! I also know how to do what, just that I don't do it unless I am asked to....what's the big deal...". 

The Little Man is really my BIG Little Man and I am so proud of his development.

Lately, the BIG Little Man likes to sit behind me, and then wrap his arms tightly around me from behind. At first, I thought that was such a sweet and affectionate gesture from my Little Man. How wrong I was! It appears that the Little Man was just visualising me as his motorcyle, with him as the pillion rider! The cheeky Little Man has even sneaked into my kitchen cabinet to grab a basket and put it on his head, proclaiming it to be his trusted helmet!!

My pride and joy

... who incidentally happen to also be the

igniting cause of my recent numerous volcanic eruptions!

~ Written by an emotionally and mentally challenged Mother of Four
who is trying to be as diligent as possible in jotting down all her blessings so that when the tough gets going, she can remind herself to dig into her memory pockets and take a moment to pause and chuckle to avoid turning into a Monster Mum!