Nightmare - Part II

It's amazing how quickly one's life can change, whether for the better or for the worse.
This is a brief summing-up of the last five days at the Tio Household.

23 July 2012 - 10.00 hrs
I was enjoying breakfast with the Little Man when out of the blue, our 'Toyota Vios' (which was recently downgraded from the Toyota Altis that was mentioned in my earlier blog postings) put herself on parking mode, slowly switched on her wipers and uttered those magic words: "Ma'am, can i talk to you?". Though I smelt trouble, I had no inkling of what she was about to say till she said it.

I nearly choked on my hot cup of Milo when continued on to say "Ma'am, can I go home for one week?".
My morning chirpiness immediately evaporated and was replaced with a scowl and an immediate "No, of course not!". I wanted to add on "Are you crazy?" but I thought I'd better just keep my mouth shut. As soon as she heard the word NO, she automatically switched on her wiper and spray to rapid mode and the drama began in fullness.

"My brother called me at 8.30 and said my father do like this to my children (whilst mimicking the action of someone punching the stomach) .... and said my husband no come home for a month (she had just spoken to her husband 5 days ago and all had seemed well!! ...she calls home almost weekly, or at the very least every fornightly)...".

Going straight to the point, I shot her three questions. 1. What does your brother expect you to do? You are so far away.  2. Why doesn't he call your husband to tell him about the children (particularly as she had always said how good, kind and patient her husband is)?  3. Has your brother called the police? Apparently, she claims her father used to abuse her from childhood to adulthood too.

As I shot her those questions, my gut feeling told me that she was creating those stories to wiggle her way home because if in fact there was a phone call (and she often talks very loud on the phone), the Little Man would have woken up as he is a light sleeper. When I arrived home from sending the Little Genius to kindergarten, the Little Man was still fast asleep. Hence, I did not believe her drama as there had been previous mini-drama episodes before.

When I stayed firm with my answer, she suddenly stood up and continued with her dramatic acting whilst echoing the words, "my head very pain Ma'am...my heart very pain...my caesar operation scar also very pain...I every night go grandma's house and cry at the back...tell Laha very pain...". Her dramatic potrayal of the pain could have won her the Best Razzies award (that's the Hollywood award presented for worst acting in film)!

A little background information...
We had previously taken her to the doctor's to consult about the headache and chest pains within a few weeks of her arrival (guess it was all doomed from the beginning!). During that time, I had to watch daytime drama as she would walk very slowly as if in pain, and breath very heavily as if struggling for breath whenever I was in the kitchen area. The doctor assured her that there was nothing wrong with her heart...blood pressure was excellent...appears she had always been suffering from migraines since her teenage years. The doctor told her that her "heart ache" was due to her not sleeping well because she keeps thinking of her children at night and not being able to let go. In fact the doctor even counselled her to let go and enjoy her time in Malaysia...new country..new things to experience....That worked like a magic potion as she improved days after that.

A couple of weeks after, she asked for a repeat prescription of the headache pills. As she had herself admitted that she had this pre-existing condition from years and years ago, she had to fork out this money herself. Moreoever, we were convinced that it was all part of her drama to declare herself medically unfit so that she can be sent home! Apparently, the maids are told of their rights before leaving home...one of that is that if the maid is declared medically unfit whilst working in Malaysia, the maid's contract may be prematurely terminated and sent home at the employer's costs!

When she discovered that the pills cost RM1 each, she miraculously became migraine-free literally overnight. In fact, I had just asked her about a month ago if she still had her headaches. And she happily told me that she had not had any headaches for a long time now. (Of course I had been keeping watch of the strip of 10 tablets that I had bought her in early May...up till last Sunday, I noticed there was still 1 pill left).
Just like the boy who cried wolf, Mr T and I were attuned to her "medical drama".

23 July 2012 - 10.15 hrs
As our Toyota Vios (which had in a matter of minutes rapidly downgraded herself to become a Tut-tut) continued to put herself in Parking gear, I told her that "I am not stupid...if you go home for a week, I know you will not come back".
The tut-tut then had the nerve to ask me, "then Ma'am, can I go home and no come back?!".

With my blood boiling whilst still trying to keep it cool in front of the Little Man, I gave her a mini lecture "your contract is for 2 years and you had told the agent and us, that your children will be well taken care of by your mother during your time here. You can't just come out here and try and see if you like it...don't like then say want to go home! (for more background info, she had never worked before...remember her husband cooked and took care of her boys as babies...her version of cooking was cooking rice and maggi noodles as breakfast for her children before sending them off to school!)". You are already here for more than 4 months...just a year and a half more and you will go home...
I can call Ma'am Justina (i.e. our agent) for you and she will tell you the same thing.

The tut-tut spontaneously replied, Ok...call Ma'am Justina.
I just gave her my dirtiest look and ended the discussion.

23 July 2012 - 12.50 hrs
As I was feeding the Little Man his lunch, the Little Genius smelling beautifully fresh from her shower after school in her sweet innocence came running (with the Tut-tut behind her) and said "Mummy, Aunty Lyn (otherwise known as the Tut-tut) said she...". Then she looked at Aunty Lyn who by that time had moved to stand behind me and must have made some body language that got the Little Genius to say "It's ok...can tell Mummy"...... "Mummy, Aunty Lyn said she wants to die".

I totally flipped! How could she say such things to an innocent 6 year old girl! Not wanting to make it a big deal in front of the Little Genius, I brushed off the comment and totally changed the subject with the Little Genius whilst giving my most evil stare at the Tut-tut. The Little Genius persisted and asked "Why Aunty Lyn say she want to die?". To quell her curiousity, I just told the Little Genius that Aunty Lyn misses her children very much and she seemed to accept that answer.

A hundred and one thoughts ran wild through my mind. Images of a beserk woman running amok with a parang ran swiftly through my mind. I immediately changed my sitting position to make sure that my back was against the wall so that I could see what the Tut-tut was up to all the time. I called the agent as soon as I could to update her of the latest drama. The agent spoke to the Tut-tut and calmed her down by a miniscule dot by saying they will call her sister and brother to try and sort out her family situation.

I noticed that the Tut-tut hardly ate her lunch but I refused to make a big hoo-ha about it.

23 July 2012 - 15:20 hrs
I called for immediate reinforcements as I could not leave my two babies at home whilst I went out to fetch the 2 older girls home from school. One of Mr T's sister came over to baby-sit whilst I   went out. Thanks, SIL, for giving me peace of mind whilst I went on my chauffering duties!

Before leaving home, I counselled the Tut-tut who by then had appeared to calm down though she was still looking rather dazed. I basically told her that adult problems stay with adults and not to involve innocent children who cannot understand the notion of death. She appeared remorseful and apologised for involving the Little Genius.

I rushed off to school to pick the 2 older girls with a hundred and one thoughts racing through my mind.

23 July 2012 - 18:45 hrs
Mr T returns home and goes straight into a counselling session with the Tut-tut. She calms down further when Mr T told her that she can use his handphone to call her husband at 22:00. Mr T and I make a quick assessment of the situation. Mr T remembers that a couple of weeks ago, the Tut-tut had informed Mr T after one of the phonecalls home that her husband queried her on why she was still crying over the phone when she has already been here for four months. The Tut-tut then added "... husband said you stay there, no come back...". At that time, we had interpreted it as the husband was relieved that her gambling addiction days were over and she was not eating up all his hard-earned money, but instead was learning just how difficult it is to earn money. Perhaps the Tut-tut interpreted it differently.

23 July 2012 - 19:15 hrs
We head off to Grandma and Grandpa's house for dinner. Our tween and the Little Genius decide to walk there instead of joining us for the short car ride. The Tut-tut joins them for the short walk. As she walked over to join the girls, her face which had been full of misery the entire day appeared to be suddenly replaced by a smile and I am sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me when I saw her skip over to cross the road to join the girls for the walk. She looked trouble-free.

Having given the extended family an up-to-date on what was happening with our Tut-tut, dear ol' MIL reassured me that if in fact she had cried or complained to MIL's maid, MIL would be the first to know as her maid is well reknown to share secrets with all willing ears out there!

23 July 2012 - 20:30 hrs
After we finished our dinner, I nipped to the kitchen to check on whether our Tut-tut had finished her dinner as we were preparing to head home to put our exhausted girls to bed. To my amazement (especially since she only had a teeny bit to eat during lunch), our Tut-tut was happily digging into the bowl of fried la-la that PIL had cooked for dinner. It really appeared to be a case of Jekyll and Hyde!

23 July 2012 - 22:00 hrs
Miss Hyde returned into her semi-comatose state as she is unable to reach her husband on the telephone. She called numerous times but there was no answer. I avoided her the entire night and slept with our bedroom door ajar so that I could hear if the Tut-tut creeped up the stairs and opened the child-safe door on the stairs.... my wild imagination causes me to have a restless, sleepness night.

24 July 2012 - 07:30 hrs
As I was waking up the Little Genius from her beauty sleep to get her ready for kindergarten, Mr T suddenly appeared at the door. He  unexpectedly returned home after sending the 2 older girls to school as he did not have a good feeling about our Tut-tut who looked totally out of it when he saw her early in the morning. She was in a total daze, with a zonked out look. She told Mr T not to buy anymore phone cards as she did not want to call her husband anymore.

24 July 2012 - 10:00 hrs
Mr T asked the Tut-tut to eat her breakfast as we were going to bring her to the agent's office. She told Mr T she was not hungry. It was one of those rare occasions that Mr T lost his temper with the Tut-tut  as her told her that he was not asking her to eat the bread, but telling her to do so! She appeared to struggle through that one slice of bread.

We bundled the Little Man and our Tut-tut into the car and made our way to the agent's office. Mr T and I filled our agent with all the details of the drama show put on by our Tut-tut. Our very experienced agent (we have been using her since 2007 and she is pretty good) informed us that the choice is ours as to whether we accede to our request to return home. Before we made our decision, we asked our agent to speak to the Tut-tut and give us her assessment as to whether the situation was worth salvaging.

By noon, the agent was still drilling the Tut-tut; Mr T noticed that her staff had suddenly put on some Cantonese music to help drown out all the shouting. We could hear our agent talking to her Phillipine counterpart who was also counselling the Tut-tut.

Our agent who is a real chilli padi, emerged from the counselling session with a fed-up look and told us it would be best to let the Tut-tut go. None of us wanted to have to go through all this drama again should she continue to stay on and "recover" only to have a recurrence of this entire saga at a later date. Moreover, our agent told us as the Tut-tut has been working for us for less than 6 months, she would give us a replacement maid of our choice though we would have to fork our for some minimal fees, with some other fees being absorbed by the agent.

Having gone through all the drama in the last 7 months, I told Mr T that given the choice I would rather not have any more live-in maids. I'd just have to ship the Little Man off to play school for a few hours every morning, giving me enough time to clean the house and prepare lunch. But alas, he is still too young and we admittedly still do need assistance for now, to keep the house spick and span. Otherwise, I may just go insane without any ME time and feeling hassled all day long trying to complete all the household chores on time, prepare an appetising lunch on time, pick the Little Genius on time and still have enough energy to ensure quality time with the kids AND hubby, be it reading or baking muffins and cakes, etc. As it is now, even my shower time often gets rudely interrupted by someone barging in unannounced into the bathroom to update me with whose fighting with who over what.

In the last 4 months since we had the Tut-tut, the Little Man has become quite a book-worm and his vocabulary has multipied at an unbelievable rate. The Little Genius has also become quite an advanced reader and can write pretty decent letters to her Po-Po in Singapore. I would like to keep all that momentum up and to do so, I do need help.

24 July 2012 - 12:30 hrs
Before leaving the agent's office to pick the Little Genius from kindie, we asked our agent for biodatas of Filipino maids, with a strict preference for single ladies with no children. Of course, we know that with single maids, you have a different set of problems. There is no ideal situation ... we can only keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

We leave the Tut-tut with the agent as they have to sort out various paper-work with her.

24 July 2012 - 15:00 hrs
Just as I am about to tuck in the two kiddies for their afternoon nap, I receive a call from Mr T who had earlier left to pick up the Tut-tut from the agent's office. The agent had arranged for a video call for us to have a look at the two potential Filipino maids that they have ready for employment in Phillipines. Mr T makes a U-turn and comes to pick us up. The two kiddies are thrilled to escape their afternoon nap for an adventure out!

The video streaming is not clear; the visuals are okay-ish but the audio is pretty bad.  It was more a chance for us to check them out, rather than to conduct any sort of interview. We decide to go for the single lady, as opposed to the single mother of a 5-year old girl. Apparently, these two are the best biodata that they have at the moment. Fingers crossed.

As for the Tut-tut, the agent informs her that her she will try and get the earliest flight home for her. The Tut-tut is well aware that she would have to fork out the costs of her entire journey home by herself as she is leaving prematurely at her own request. In fact, she had already worked out that she had enough savings (over RM700) to bear the costs home. She had already planned it all out. The agent then asks the Tut-tut if she wants to stay at the agent's office whilst waiting for her flight home, or to return to her dungeon where she can still work and earn a few days' salary whilst waiting for THE day. The Tut-tut chooses to return to her dungeon.

Mr T resigns to the fact that this is the only maid of ours, and of our extended family's, who has really got what she wanted.

24 July 2012 - 16:00 hrs
We bring the Tut-tut home and give her a string of chores to do, to fill up her empty mind and soul. As for me, it was pay-back time as she had disrupted our entire day. As she was mopping the floor, I just had to get it out of my system that "you have caused nothing but problems for everyone"!. With just those exact words, the Tut-tut acts out another drama as she slowly immerses the mop-cloth into the bucket of water ...... gradually brings it up to her chest level ...... and wrings the cloth in super... slowwww...motion thus allowing the water to go drip ... drip ... drip ... into the bucket 3 feet below... whilst her expressionless face stares into space. I pretended I could see no evil nor hear no evil and just walked straight out of the kitchen, totally gobsmacked at the continuing drama.

Unbeknown to me, Mr T had earlier told her off for wasting everyone's time and said something along the lines of "now that you have got what you wanted, you better complete all your work properly. It was one of those rare moments when Mr T actually momentarily loses his cool with the Tut-tut.

We then rush off with the two younger kids in tow to fetch the two older kids from school. Had to reschedule our tween's tuition a little later as we were running late. Total chaos.

24 July 2012 - 17:15 hrs
As we arrive home, the agent called to inform that her office has managed to get a flight home for the Tut-tut on 27 July at 6.00 a.m.; hence, we had to drop the Tut-tut back at the distribution centre (a.k.a. the agent's office) by noon on 26 July 2012. The agent then spoke to the Tut-tut, telling her that they have managed to get her a ticket on 1 August as that is the earliest, available flight. Perhaps realising that she was not going to have an easy few days with us, the Tut-tut starts sobbing and tells the agent that she now wants to go back to the agent's office to stay until her flight home. Amidst the chaos and pretending not to notice the latest drama, we rush off to send the Whining Queen to her piano class leaving the agent to deal with the Tut-tut's latest drama over the phone.

The agent subsequently informed Mr T that she reprimanded the Tut-tut, telling her that we were actually doing her a favour by providing her with a roof over her head whilst waiting for her flight home! The Tut-tut bucks up a little.

25 July 2012 
Whilst I was quietly having my breakfast (i was relieved of my school chauffering duties as we didn't dare leave the Tut-tut alone with any of the younger kiddies) and treasuring the time when there was still someone else to do all the washing and cleaning, the Tut-tut asks me in a rather faint voice if she could have some of my gastric medicine. That led me to give her a spontaneous lecture on how she creates problems for herself and others around her as I had on numerous occasions prior to this, advised her on the importance of eating regular meals and never letting the stomach go hungry ... lest she wants to suffer from incapacitating gastric attackes like I unfortunately do. I reminded her on her initial refusal to eat the bread that Mr T asked her to eat the day before, and how she then only went on to have one small slice of bread...as well as her literally deciding to skip lunch as part of the drama on Monday. I gave her the gastric medicine with instructions on when & how to eat it and never asked her again on whether her gastric was better.

The amount of work that the Tut-tut did today was equivalent to more than an entire week's chores!
Sweep, mop, wash all bathrooms...the garage, the back-yard, clean the fans, wash the curtains in the living room and master bedroom...as well as wipe the curtain rail and clean the windowpanes. No more drama...just sweat and toil as she counted down her last seven days.

Just before the girls' bedtime, we called for a family meeting with the girls as well as the Tut-tut in attendance. We informed the girls that the Tut-tut had asked to return home to Phillipines as she missed her children very much and was very sad to be apart from them. Despite my anger and utter frustration at the entire situation, I believe we chaired the meeting rather diplomatically. We wanted to give the girls a chance to say goodbye to the Tut-tut properly. The Tut-tut just stood quiely at the sidelines, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Not sure whether those were crocodile tears, or tears of joy (is my sarcasm ringing through?). The Little Genius shed a few tears, followed by the Whining Queen. Mr T and I dispersed from the meeting, leaving the two younger girls to give the Tut-tut a hug before they went up to bed. The Little Genius later reported to me that the Tut-tut did not say a single word to them but just leaned against the wall, with her continuing display of waterworks.

During our little family meeting, the Little Man continued wandering in, out and around the meeting room, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. He was on model behaviour, occupying himself with his own singing & role-play (i.e. pretending to be the roti-man and the gas-man).

26 July 2012
As the Tut-tut was finishing up with her last sweep and mop of her dungeons, I asked MIL to come over to help me pack the Tut-tut's belongings. The Tut-tut may have suspected that today was THE day, as before Mr T left for work, he asked the Tut-tut to take down her luggage as he wanted to check it. What more with MIL's unusual presence at our home in the morning. As I went to look for the Tut-tut as soon as she finished mopping the floor to ask her to shower, I found her automatically getting her towel and change of clothes from her shelves before I even opened my mouth.

MIL and I then proceed to pack the Tut-tut's bag in her presence. There was not much to pack as most of her earnings were spent on i-TALK phone cards. I then told the Little Man that Aunty Lyn was going home to the Phillipines. To my utter surprise, the Little Man replied "Ohh ... Aunty Lyn going home ... see children right, Mummy?". I was left dumbfounded and speechless by the Little Man! Unbeknown to any of us, the 30 month old Little Man had been a passive participant of the family meeting the night before!

As we were about to leave the house, MIL must have said some touching words to the Tut-tut as her mini waterworks began flowing. The Little Man then swayed towards the Tut-tut, in his little samseng way. As the Tut-tut happened to be kneeling down at that moment to zip up her bag, the Little Man suddenly reached his little fingers towards her, wiped away her tears from her cheeks, and comforted the Tut-tut with the words "don't cry, Aunty Lyn...ok?....don't cry...Ching Tom love Aunty Lyn, ok?". To see my BIG Little Man do that really touched my heart.

26 July  2012 - 13:00hrs
As my car approached the distribution centre, I thought I'd give the Tut-tut a chance to say her good-byes to us, in particular the Little Man. I told the Little Man to say good bye to the Tut-tut "as Aunty Lyn is going home, far far away". There was no response from the Tut-tut. None whatsoever. No words of good-bye, nor a flying kiss, hug or even a gentle stroke on the Little Man's loveable face from the Tut-tut . Instead, the Tut-tut just alighted from the car, went around to the boot where I was standing, carried her luggage out and walked straight towards the agent. I did not receive a word of thanks, not even a smile nor a nod as a thank you gesture. The Tut-tut did not even ask to convey her thanks or goodbye to Mr T (who treated her really well!) nor to the three princesses. I pretended to take no notice and continued talking to the agent before hopping back into my car and driving off to greener pastures with MIL and the BIG Little Man.

26 July  2012 - 14:30hrs
PIL (otherwise known as Papa-in-law) cooks a simple lunch for us at his place. After lunch, the Little Genius (who PIL helped pick up from kindie), the Little Man and I return home. As soon as we enter our home, the Little Man said to me "Aunty Lyn go home d right ... see children right, Mummy?". With a little pat on the Little Man's head, I said "yes, that's right. So you and Jie-Jie must help Mummy and Daddy okay?". And with that, I send the two precious little ones up for their afternoon nap and hurriedly begin to fold and iron the clean laundry as they nap.


It has been a long, long week.
Little did we know that when we started the new week early on Monday morning, that we would be returning our Toyota Vios back to the assembly line by the end of the week and begin our wait for a new one. Despite everyone's advice and counsel, I guess the Tut-tut just could not let go of her homesickness and concentrate on the here and now. I'd like to think of our home as a very happy and noisy home with lots of going-ons ... lots of distractions .... where time flies and happiness abound.

I continue to be ever so thankful for my extended support network, especially my parents-in-law who have volunteered to help out with the chauffeuring duties early in the morning so that the Little Man can have uninterrupted sleep in the morning as well as his afternoon nap, as well as my SILs, (a.k.a. Mr T's sisters) who have been helping out with babysitting duties.

With all our fingers and toes crossed, we are hoping to be proud "owners" of a far more superior Toyota model in a couple of months' time.  In the meantime, it is it is going to be an exhausting and challenging two months ahead as it is back to a one-woman show at the domestic front from 7.00 a.m. to 7.00 p.m. every weekday as I struggle with juggling to provide cleaning services, cooking services, laundry services, grocery/marketing services, chauffering services, tutoring services, as well as being a playmate to a 2 year old and a 6 year old WHILST still trying to be a pleasant, cheerful and patient mother and wife. I look forward to the evenings as that is when SuperDad returns home and I have reinforcements to help me out as my batteries sometimes run dry by nightfall.

Wish me luck!

~ Jottings from the Heart
by an exhausted Mother of Four who is ever so thankful to be blessed with a very hands-on husband, a super supportive extended family AND four little kiddos who have been volunteering their services whenever their time and energy permit ... be it sweeping the floor, washing & drying the dishes, hanging and folding laundry. And thank you to you too, for bothering to read through my ramblings right until the last full-stop.

Back-stabbed!

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been missing from the blogging atmosphere for the last 4 months. The inability to pen down my thoughts and frustrations on my dear blog has resulted in some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms. The symptoms include being increasingly impatient and losing my temper at the slightest thing. Regretfully, the victims have been my three princesses, Mr T as well as my parents. Aside from not being able to blog, I have had very little time to catch up with friends. Feeling isolated from the world that I once knew so well was both painful and tortorous.

I had zero ME time.

A pin had abruptly pierced through my bubble causing it to burst with a big bang!

Here is my story.


I have always been the one listening to horror stories about maids from family and friends... I never thought the day would come when i would have my own horror maid story to tell. Perhaps it is because we had been blessed with 2 good maids in the past, Asti and Janette, that I never thought our chapter with Janette would have such a distressful and an abrupt ending. Or perhaps, I had just been too naive.

J was a commendable house-keeper and a great nanny to our four children. She definitely loved them (or so it seemed) and she pampered them as much as she could. Having completed her two year contract in early December, she had agreed to extend her contract for a further 2 years. In fact, she had always been telling the girls, Mr T and I, as well as MIL - my mother in law - that she intends to work for us until the Little Man is ten years old. She was particularly attached to and very protective of the Little Man as they share the same birthdate. At times, one could sense her feeling envious when the Little Man was being overly affectionate with MIL's housekeeper. She always seemed to be the one who was proudest of the Little Man's milestones.

J was scheduled to go home on 10th December for a 17 day break over the Christmas period to see her three daughters whom she had not seen for over two years.  Prior to her holiday, we made various trips around town to help J tick off the items on her shopping list. J's main item was a Samsung Galaxy Y for her eldest girl. It had just been launched at that time; hence finding it at the shops was no easy task, as even the Samsung outlets had not received stock of the new phones. We also shopped around for the best possible exchange rate for her ringgit/peso ... surveyed the market for the cheapest imported chocolates that she wanted to buy ... bought her girls girly stationery ... and on and on.

In the days leading to her flight home, she had quietly told the Little Man that she was returning home for a holiday. Everytime she told the Little Man, she would emerge with teary red eyes. And I believe that was no acting; she was an emotional person. She couldn't tell the girls as we had asked her not to. Ying Han was attending a motiviational camp for up-and-coming teenagers so we wanted her to be able to fully concentrate on her camp. As for the 2 younger girls, we did not want them to make a big fuss and become all emotional as our Little Genius was quite attached to J. In fact, the Little Genius had earlier told J that she would be very upset and cry her eyes out if J went home for a holiday. Hence, the joint decision to keep the plans to the adults until after J's departure. Afterall, J was only going back for a 2 week holiday. Or so we thought.

Befor J left for the airport on a midnight flight, I packed her my supply of gastric medicine as I was afraid that the long journey home may bring on her gasric attack. That small step appeared to touch J's heart as she became all teary-eyed as she thanked me for the little bag containing the gastric medication. At the airport, Mr T went searching for the plastic wrapping service so that we could wrap J's luggage in the plastic wrapper to ensure her belongings were not tampered with during the loading and unloading onto the aircraft.

On the morning after, we explained to the two younger girls that their Aunty J had gone home to the Philippines for a two week holiday and that we had kept the news from them as it was a surprise for Aunty J's family. We reassured them that they would be seeing their beloved Aunty J in a little over 2 weeks. As Ying Han's camp had ended the 3 hours before J's departure, she was able to say good bye to Aunty J after a quick explanation of the situation.

When J did not call us by noon on the day after her departure as we had asked her to, Mr T and I became rather worried. We tried calling J's Mum to check on the status, but there was no answer. We became increasingly worried as it was a long journey home. A flight back to Manila, and then a connecting flight to Davao, followed by a 10 hour bus journey to get home to a far-away province. Almost 21 hours later, she finally rang to say that she had safely arrived. She sounded esctatic and had asked about the kids. We were relieved.

Next came the physical exertion. The Zoo Manager had to work doubly hard to ensure all housekeeping needs were adequately met, including the laundry. I more than made up for the lack of exercise that I have done (or not done!) for the past year!  God bless my little helpers who tried their best to help me out as best as their little hands could manage! As always, Mr T was very hands-on in helping out in every way that he could too.


 

The Little Man with his armour
...the humble vacuum cleaner



        

Hard at Work

    

My faithful Si Bongkok was a
great help washing & drying dishes

Two days following J's departure, Mr T and I packed everyone into the car and sped off to Hard Rock Penang. We had planned it out beautifully. The holiday was perfect...full of relaxation & rejuvenation. Reality hit me hard when we reached home and emptied all our luggage! SIX people's laundry multiplied by FIVE whole days! Arghhhhh.......it took me 4 days of beautiful sunshine to get through all the laundry!

All dirty and smelly!

Sigh...the ironing is
always the harder part!

As I stood by the ironing board with sweat dripping profusely down my forehead, feeling overpowered by the sweltering heat and high humidity, I made a resolution that I had to tone down my temper and impatient behaviour once J returned from her holiday! For if she was not the one helping me, I would have to be the one slogging over all that, every single day!

Just before Christmas, a typhoon had hit Philippines. We called J to check if she was alright. Even my Mum called from across the Causeway with a similar concern. We heaved a sigh of relief when J told us that they were fine, though they were forced to go to an evacuation centre as their home was flooded. We checked on J a couple of days later and she told us they were busy cleaning up the mess that the typhoon had caused to their house. She enquired about the kids... on hindsight, she still sounded normal with no indication of what may have already been looming in her mind.

We made a call to J on Christmas Day as we all wanted to wish her Merry Christmas. Her mother answered our call in a rather matter-of-fact manner and informed that J had gone out and had not brought the phone with her. When I asked her mother to convey our christmas wishes to J, she reacted in a rather distant manner and the lack of Christmas spirit was clearly felt down the telephone line.  Being the pessimist, my immediate gut reaction was to go "Oh, oh! ... something doesn't sound right". That lasted for like 2 seconds before I laughed it off aloud to the ever positive Mr T.
As it turned out, my gut feel was right!

A whole 48 hours later - on the morning that J was to return to Malaysia - we called J to check that she was on the bus from her village to Davao city to catch her connecting flight to Manila on route to Malaysia. We received a big jolt to our system when J answered the phone with "Hi, Ma'am. I am sorry but I cannot come back to Malaysia...my 2 girls have been admitted to hospital with dengue." I was totally unprepared for that and did not know how to respond save to blurt out "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! So When can you come back? Are you coming back??!!!". Those were my last ever words to J before I passed the telephone to Mr Cool T. J told Mr T that she did not have anyone to care for her girls as her mother was unwell too and her father was nowhere to be found. J then told Mr T that she would try and change her flight (though we knew that was impossible as she was travelling on a low-cost carrier) before calling us back. She then hung up.

We were stunned ... in total shock. Mr T went to work in a daze. I tried to keep things normal at the Zoo although the girls knew very well that this was The Day when they were supposed to have their Aunty J home again to spoil and pamper them. Mr T tried calling J in the afternoon only to have J's Mum inform him that she was at the hospital and to call back later in the evening. When Mr T called again in the evening, he was greeted by an operator's voice going "THE LINE IS CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE.". Till today, that is the response we get when we call the number. That single act clearly indicates her intention to cut off all contact with the children.

When evening came and the two younger girls kept asking what time Aunty J was arriving, we were at a loss as to how to explain to the girls that Aunty J was not coming back...at least for now. Though we did the best we could, there were tears streaming down their faces and that just broke my heart as I knew the girls looked to Aunty J as part of the family. We had all treated J as part of the family. She would follow us on our holidays to Singapore. When we went out for dinner, we would bring her along too and she would ate whatever we ate. Mr T and I trusted her enough to leave all our four kids with her during our monthly movie date nights. We trusted her and did not hold back any of her salary in her bank account when she returned.

Mr T and I were at a loss for the next few days. It all hit us so unexpectedly as the signs were clear that J did intend to return when she left for her holiday as her much treasured Prince William and Princess Catherine wedding souvenir magazine was in her bedroom, as were her diaries. Mr T was in a state of shock too as he had always prided himself in his ability to read people's character, and oh, how he misread this one.

I could sense that like us, Ying Han felt very hurt by J's betrayal. She loved J and would confide in her on certain things. For some time after, she repeatedly asked why J lied to us and just left us this way. I just did not have any answers for her. Unlike her sisters, she rarely talks about J anymore. The Little Genius was more expressive. On several occasions, she would become all teary eyed and lamented how much she missed her Aunty J. She went to bed one night with Aunty J tucking her in, and the next morning when she awoke, Aunty J was gone. I could feel her pain and it really hurt when I just could not do anything about it. It was especially difficult when she asked me if I thought J would one day come back. Explaining life's complications to a six year old is rather tricky. You need to tell enough so as to satisfy their curious minds, yet you need be cautious of what you say, how much you say and the way you say it so that they do not feel that it is normal for someone that you love to just pack up and desert you without any warning signs.

To ensure I survived unscathed (physically, emotionally & mentally) for the months to follow, I had to take drastic action! As I have never enjoyed an amicable relationship with the vacuum cleaner and old-fashioned mop, I dashed to the shops to buy Scotch-Brit's super sweeper and mop to ensure that the Zoo grounds were as dust-free as possible...in case MIL should pop by unannounced for a spot-check (which she did on the third day of the calamity...I think I passed the test!)

As it was still the year-end holiday, the zoo was at full occupancy rate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This was both good and bad as it meant I had my little helpers with me, though it also meant a very noisy zoo as there were the inevitable squabbles among the siblings over petty little issues. My voice must have roared through the neighbourhood during those times! It is incredible that I managed to retain my sanity to this day!

When the new school year began, there was utter chaos! After getting the 2 older girls ready for school before Daddy Driver chauffeurs them to school, I would rush to hang out the laundry before gobbling down my breakfast and waking the Little Genius up. The early morning school runs to send the Little Genius to kindergarten meant that I had to drag the Little Man out of bed early every morning. Dealing with the grumpy Little Man who threw his temper tantrums at me for distrubing him from his beauty sleep and getting the Little Genius all dressed and fed and reaching the school on time became my daily weekday challenge!

On most mornings, I would somehow managed to sneak in a 15 minute visit to the park on the way home for the Little Man to burn out his energy before tucking him back to bed for a compulsory morning nap so that I could get lunch prepared on time. This arrangement had its perks. The 15 minute visit to the park meant that I could quickly flip through the morning papers. Pretending to sleep, while putting the Little Man to sleep for his morning nap, meant that I could recharge for 10 minutes before preparing lunch.

After feeding the Little Man his lunch, it's time to zoom off to pick the Little Genius from kindergarten at 12.15. During their afternoon nap is when I clean up the kitchen, then toil over the ironing board to sort all the laundry before cleaning the house and then running into the shower to ensure that I look decent and smell good before dropping the 2 younger kids at my in-laws' house, before picking the 2 older girls from school at 5.00 p.m. There were times when the Little Man was uncooperative and would demand to have his sweaty, smelly mummy put him back to sleep should he awake midway through his nap-time.

Mind you, I could only manage enough energy to clean the floors. For sanity's sake, I decided to allow dust to occupy the shelves in our zoo to which super hygieninc Mr T kindly turned a blind eye too (but when it did get too much, he very kindly cleaned it all up). We even managed to do some spring cleaning to welcome in the new Chinese New Year.

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! I lamented to my boss that never in my corporate life have I ever had so many overlapping deadlines that were never ending!

A pat on my head and Mr T's too, for during the 3 months that we had to juggle the zoo to make sure everyone was well fed and taken care of, and that the hygiene standards at the zoo was maintained, we worked really well as a team. Mr T took great effort in ensuring that he got home as early as possible to help out at the zoo. Of course, there were a couple of occasions when yours truly threatened to resign but that was all NATO - No Action, Talk Only.

At the end of all the chaos for the last three months, we survived. WE SURVIVED!

I am ever so thankful for my support network. PIL (my dear father in law), who is also the family chef for our family evening meals has been great at ensuring that he cooks meals that are also suitable for the Little Man. PIL has also been of tremendous help as my back-up driver to pick the 2 older girls from school twice a week. MIL too, has been great in arranging for her maid to come over to help out on certain days to clean the toilets, garage, etc.

I still lay awake at times quietly wondering what happened to J that caused her to betray our family. I am convinced that she must have made up a story of her girls having dengue so that we would not ask any questions. Couldn't she just have returned for that extended one year as agreed before proceeding with any other plans that she may have been harbouring? That way, everyone would be happy and my girls need not have had to suffer this painful chapter in their lives. We could have kept in touch (as we do with Asti, our first maid from Indonesia) and the bond between her and the girls would have remained unbroken. I have no closure and though it really bugs me, I have slowly learned to let go.

The events of the last few months have signifcantly improved my fitness levels. The housework coupled with those buckets load of sweat has done wonders in terms of my slimming progress. The downside has been having to constantly nurse my severely cracked heels and chapped fingers. I now have bottles of my trusted Jergens intensive moisturiser scattered throughout the house; one in my bathroom, one in the kitchen and one in my automobile!


Here is an animated view of A Day in the Life of a Zookeeper from 11 Dec 2011 to 15 March 2012.
[Editor's note: Many thanks to the publishers and owners of the clipart pictures used below.]

So yes...our bubble has burst albeit temporarily. We have succesfully pulled through with no major damage (except to our beloved banker for having to fork out the agency fees for my new assistant). I truly believe that we have each moved up a level.

Ying Han is now a little more domesticated...she is pretty good as my part-time dishwasher ...

The Whining Queen who is 7+, now packs her own school bag and showers by herself ... even the Little Genius who is now 6 is very good at showering herself.

As for the Little Samseng, he now insists on feeding himself which is great...I just have to catch the food that inadvertently falls off between that little gap between the edge of the spoon and his mouth.

And he no longer needs to be PAT, PAT on his upper leg in order to sleep. 

So yes, I couldn't be prouder of my brood.


~ Written from the Heart
by an exhausted Mother of Four who is in dire need of recharging her batteries and who continues to look forward to bedtime at night so that she can finally have some much treasured quiet ME time. Unless the kids are all in la-la-land, there is always a high risk of someone barging into the shower to distrupt her peace just so that she/he can complain about what another sibling is doing, or not doing, to her/him. This blessed Mother of Four continues to count her blessings and is learning to let go of matters that are just beyond her control. Having now written her thoughts and feelings out on the entire event, she is finally able to have some sort of closure on this chapter.

And it all came crashing down!

Sigh. It's been a rather challenging couple of weeks lately.
Very challenging.

First, my gastric problems paid me an unwelcomed visit.
Then, yours truly suffered from bloating and flatulence. Big time.
Started popping my Histac pills, chewing Maalox and ingesting good bacteria to get my gastro-intestinal tract in good working order. At one point, my stomach was so bloated that my eldest girl literally blew me away when she questioned me recently:
"Mummy, do you still want another baby?!"
The immediate response was" Arghhhhh....No! I am already blessed with four. It's enough! Thanks."
And her response...."Oh.....okay. I was just wondering because your stomach is like so big!"

Sob. Sob.
(I do prefer Mr T's kinder words...his moniker for the extra bulge and stretched skin is "your badges of honour"!)

Just as I was back in good working order, our investment at Solaris Dutamas decided to cause us further major headaches and heartaches.The perennial bathroom leaks that I lamented in one of my earlier postings appears to have since been solved (fingers crossed). Our agent had already warned us of the possibility of the floor and wall tiles popping up in the unit as several of her clients had experienced the problems. Apparently, the tiles pop up as a result of insufficient cement being used when laying the tiles. We were hoping to be spared of the problem as we already had more than our fair share of problems at the condominium in the last year. Apart from the bathroom ceiling leaks, we've also had problems with the washing machine, the air-conditioning system.
It was more than enough.
Or so I thought.

Alas, that was not to be.
Initially, it looked as though it was just 8 kitchen floor tiles that had popped up.
As I stood in the kitchen staring blankly at the wall tiles wondering "WHY US?", a continuous crack of about 50cm stared back at me from the edge of the wall. An instant reflux reaction saw my knuckles automatically knocking on the wall tiles. What greeted me was a horrifying hollow sound that has since seen Mr T and I gone through a very draining 2 weeks.

A thorough check revealed the following defects:
1. Kitchen: 75% of the wall tiles were hollow i.e. insufficient cement underneath the tile i.e. high possibility of the tiles popping up in the future.
2. Utility room: 80% the wall tiles needed replacement.
3. Guest Bathroom: 90% of the wall tiles needed replacement.
4. Master Bathroom: 15 of the wall tiles were hollow.
5. Living Room and entrance:  8 floor tiles needed replacement.

There is apparently no impending warning of when the tiles may pop. The only way one can tell if the tile was poorly laid is if you hear a very distinct hollow sound when you knock on the tile with a steel instrument. Before our nightmare began, our agent had warned us of the potential problem as one of her tenant had recently returned home from work and was unable to open his front door. When the door was forced open, the tenant was greeted by 50 pieces of floor tiles in his living room that had popped up whilst he was at work, causing the front door to be jammed!

That Friday, 5th August 2011, was a black, black friday for Mr T and I.
The anger, frustration and disappointment that I felt towards the developer, who we had believed to be a reputable developer that would deliver top quality products had failed us miserably, reached boiling point.  The days that followed on were equally dark days as we had to deal with a couple of ***holes along the way. Obviously, love letters were written by yours truly to the developer with threats to publish their poor quality and service to the newspapers if immediate rectification works were not taken. Such was my anger and disappointment.

To add to our woes, we then had to break the news to our tenant who needless to say, was not too pleased with having to move himself and his belongings out. A long and painful story cut short, the developer agreed to offer our tenant alternative accomodation in the form of a serviced apartment in the same vicinity.

Guess what!? As if to prove us and our tenant right that the quality of the developer's work was truly questionable, even the serviced apartment had its own problems. The brand new washing machine leaked out water on its maiden adventure! An extremely unhappy tenant was adamant in moving out and straight into a hotel...at our expense. It was basically a ransom case of "pay for my hotel and laundry bills or I'm terminating the tenancy with immediate effect". The nightmare just worsened. 

As the tiles were ripped off, the walls hacked and the sound of constant drilling filled the atmosphere, I felt suffocated.  The sheer volume of dust and debris that filled the entire atmosphere just threw me further into despair. Aside from my daily routines, my days were filled with sprinting over to the condo to check on the works to ensure that they could deliver the unit back to us on time, as well as doing major PR work with our tenant. There were exceptional trying times when I had to deal with certain individuals who were just plain ***holes! Excuse my language, but there just is no other polite way to describe such individuals. The workers appeared to emphatise with me and have more sympathy for us after witnessing my bust-up with that particular ***hole. It is sad to see that the higher one has climbed the corporate ladder, the bigger the err-hem...hole!

There were days when I struggled to balance myself rather precariously on the edge of an enormous pithole that had a long and dark tunnel. I made a conscious effort to constantly remind myself that I could not afford to fall into that deep and dark hole. On many days, I was totally drained out...both emotionally and physically.
So was Mr T.
His facial expressions and body language spoke volumes. When he was down and busy balancing himself on the edge of that enormous pithole, I somehow managed to keep my spirits up; likewise when I was doing my damnest to balance myself on the edge of that deep, dark hole, he would be the one helping me to balance and stay off the edge of that deep, dark hole.

The one thing that did manage to keep me sane and put a much needed smile on my face was our little bambinoes! They would somehow know if I had a particular bad day and would shower me endlessly with their kisses and wrap their little arms around me. The Little Genius was particularly sweet when I came home all upset on that black, black friday. She told me she had a surprise for me and enthusiastically asked me to close my eyes. I did as I was told. As I closed my eyes, I felt her soft little butterfly kisses all over my face as she showered me with her love.
That did great wonders in lifting my spirits up that day!

This entire nightmarish experience has left me wondering whether business people have any conscience as it is apparent that the issue of cost takes priority over quality and service. It makes me wonder even more that if this is a high-end development, what happens to those in low-cost housing? What happens to innocent buyers who use their hard-earned money to invest in a roof over their heads only to be cheated by unscrupulous businessmen who are out there to make a quick buck? Who cares for them when their walls come crashing down on them ... when what was supposed to be their safe haven becomes a nightmare...

Where it the fairness of it all?


Flashbacks of our nightmare.....

Redoing the kitchen floor tiles

Walls being stripped naked
...where our kitchen cabinets once stood



Completely naked!

 

All messed up!

 

Washing machine and dryer
moved to the living room area

A depressing state...
... fridge next to our sofa

 

Bathroom stripped naked...literally!



Slowly getting there...




Kitchen cabinets are back on




"Blessed" with two-toned tiles!!
...sigh...

Like our two-toned wall tiles?



DUST-mania!





  

And here is how it was, when it was still a dream....

~ Written by a deeply disappointed and frustrated investor who is working hard at retaining an optimistic outlook at any possible future investments.