Time for Change .... 'simply Too Blessed to be Stressed!

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, 
but Anybody can start today and have a new ending.

Some time back, there was a massive volcano eruption where hot smelting lava spewed everywhere at the Zoo, adversely affecting the well-being of all its inhabitants. I shall not delve into the details of the damaging eruption save to say that the cause of the eruption was, in my humble opinion, justifiable, but the manner in which the explosion occurred was entirely unacceptable. I simply cannot let it happen again. 

CUT THE FUSE, NOW!

  

There are Little People watching me all the time, and God forbid,
I would not want them to be Time Bombs like their mother when 
they grow up and leave the nest. 

Heaven Forbid. 

No. NO. NO. 

One Time Bomb in the family is already tricky enough to diffuse. 

I need to cut the fuse. NOW. 

During my last home visit to my dearest parents, the Heavens Above seemed to be sending me various signals that it was indeed Time for Change.  It was WAY OVER time to be one hundred and ten percent serious about controlling my temper. Out of the blue, my dearest Papa, (who himself is well-known for his extreme short-temperedness!) gave me a little pep talk on curbing my short-temperedness. To give some background info on why this is rather significant, it is because it is very rare for my Papa to have such heart-to-heart talks with his kids as he normally communicates via my beloved Mama...being the typical conservative China-man dad that he is. Also, I've noticed to my delight that Papa has started to mellow down in the last year and a half, so perhaps he could see the benefits of a more calm and "just-let-it-go-with-the-flow" attitude and thought it worthy to give some words of advice to a fellow short-tempered person! Point taken and appreciated.

No more blaming my DNA nor the beautiful name that was bestowed upon me at birth. I sometimes kid myself that my fiery temper must be partly attributed to the fact that the Chinese character for my name contains the fire character.  

Enough is enough. No more excuses.  

JUST. DO. IT. Make the Change a Reality.

Looking back, I was not always so fiery tempered. Admittedly, I have always been slightly on the impatient side, but I was definitely not as hot tempered in my 20's nor in my early to mid-thirties. In fact, if I was really honest with myself, my short-temperedness only flourished in the last few years since assuming the role of Director of Operations at the Zoo.  

Perhaps it is the lack of adult interaction and the lack of ME time. 
Perhaps it is because there is always somebody or somebodies pulling at me from various directions, screaming "Mummy this..., Mummy that....., see Mummy, see what she/he did, MUMMY, M-U-M-M-Y!!!, MAAAAAAAAAAA-MMMMYYYYY!!!!!". 
Perhaps it is the constant voice recorder that has to keep playing the same old nag-nag-nag song to no effect, except to cause the fuse to shorten and shorten till a spark lights if up. And to add to that, the neverending "you-do-me-first" arguments between siblings, sour faces, rudeness, answering back, lack of maturity, stubbornness, and the show-no-urgency, notorious tidak-apa (i.e. couldn't care less) attitude. The wonders of being surrounded by untweens and teenagers!

As much as I love the M-U-M-M-Y title and the perks (?) that come with being an unpaid Full Time Chauffeur, Lunchtime Chef, Time-Keeper, Tutor, Disciplinarian - being on the job 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, whilst staying sane and remaining as cool as a cucumber, is a constant challenge for me.  

Though these are all contributing factors, I keep reminding myself of two things. 
One, I chose my current vocation to be the Director of Operations at the Zoo. I could have fully outsourced the operations to a professionally qualified  House Keeper, a Babysitter and a Chauffeur. But that would have meant long hours at the office just so that a sizeable chunk of our hard-earned salary would go towards paying for those outsourcing services AND I would have missed out on countless treasured moments!
Secondly and more importantly, I have a choice on how to react. All our choices have consequences, so I must learn to choose well. 

Day by day, I challenge myself to improve my self-control and discipline in ignoring and turning off the many ignition buttons that stare at me daily, tempting and urging me to press those buttons!  Though I do falter, I consciously remind myself to take deeeeeep, sloooww breaths, staying relaxed and simply refrain from pressing the Ignition Button.  

If only it was that simple.

NO MORE EXCUSES. 

I have always told myself to control my temper, to control my emotions. 

Guess it had to take that seismic volcanic eruption to really make me re-think the path that I was taking, and to be truly serious and determined to make that change a success.  

It really is all about how one handles the situation and the choices we want to make in life. When I awake every morning, only I can decide whether it will be a happy and positive day ahead.  Only I can decide whether to close an eye on whatever that may be out there trying to spoil the day. Only I can decide to take a deep breath and walk away when I see my domestic outsource service provider (a.k.a. my maid) doing something nonsensical that is likely to light a small fuse within me. 


My Inner Self tells me "Keep Your Mouth Shut! 
Simply not worth getting upset for!".
Just zip my mouth and walk away. 

STOP, BREATHE AND THINK. 

THEN THINK SOME MORE BEFORE REACTING. 

Awareness is Key. Control Your Emotions.

The Heavens Above continued to send me signals upon my return home from across the Causeway when on one glorious afternoon, I encountered horrendous traffic whilst chauffeuring Princess #1 to the Golf Club for her golf handicap test. As I was manoeuvring my way through the unforgiving traffic, a small unassuming car appeared from out of the blue and I found myself staring at the words 'I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED' on its back windscreen. It had my full attention and I immediately scribbled down the message in my Journal that very night.

I - AM - TOO - BLESSED - TO - BE - STRESSED

Mr T always reminds me to turn every negativity into a positivity.
Mr Always Right has always been Mr Positive.

As I always tell the Little People, if you don't have anything nice to say, just keep quiet.
Guess I have to lead the way and Walk The Talk.

Little Darlings, if any of you are reading this, be warned that this does not mean Mummy will not reprimand nor sternly tell you off if you misbehave, if you are rude, if you waste that precious commodity called Time, or do something that you know you should not be doing, It just means that the volcanic eruptions will be kept in control, and that the machine gun will not automatically fire off at every moving thing in sight!!

In starting this new journey, I made an undertaking to myself......
To Always Take a Deep Breath Before Reprimanding and Think Before Acting, no matter what is being thrown at me. 

To treat my Loved Ones in the same manner and with the same dignity as I would others, no matter how much my patience was being tested.  

To stay on this journey and not lose sight of my ultimate destination. 

Oh, Little People, please help Mummy and don't ignite Mummy's fuse.

My dearest Mr T, thank you for your impeccable patience, 

Thank you for your unconditional love and for always being there to defuse my fuse. 
Thank you for showing me the way. 

Thank you for your positivity. 

Thank you for reminding me of my blessings.   I am truly blessed.

You've been asking me what it was that I have been busy scribbling in my Little Blue Notebook recently. That Little Blue Notebook is my journal to record every little progress (and regress) that I make on this long-overdue journey of mine.

Wish Me Luck On My New Journey.  

And I shall continue to pray that 

I'll be a better person tomorrow, than I was today.

Simply because...

~ Confessions written truly from the Heart.