Tio's Little Ones: April 2012

Alas, I welcomed my new subordinate just over a month ago.

The first week of orientation was rather challenging as my new subordinate, though originating from the Philippines, was not proficient in English at all. At times, my frustration got the better of me as I quietly pondered as to whether I had inadvertently hired a Cambodian maid or not! I had to speak rather slowly whilst using a little sign language, which is rather difficult for me. As my previous boss aptly put it during one of my presentations many years ago, "it sounds like a choo-choo train when you talk!".

In my moment of despair sometime during those initial few days, I made the following analogous comparison between my previous subordinate and my current subordinate. If J was a BMW, my new subordinate arrived at my door step as a Proton Saga! I should count myself lucky...one of my girlfriends has just lamented that one of her earlier maids was akin to a tut-tut!!

Through training and a lot of patience, I am glad to report that my Proton Saga has since been upgraded to a Toyota Vios / borderline Toyota Altis! There's still a lot of room for improvement.
My wish list for our Toyota Altis:
i) Smile more.
ii) Tune into the same frequency as my little zoo members and interact more with the family.
iii) Be more creative and have greater initiative especially when dealing with my little zoo members.

Contrary to what was written in her biodata, I have since discovered that she had never worked before nor does she know how to cook. She has been blessed with two boys and a husband who does all the cooking at home!

I also noted that our then Proton Saga appeared to be constantly running low on diesel all the time during those two weeks. One incident that really irked me was the morning when I was rushing out to send our Proton Saga to the service centre for its mandatory health check 10 days after arrival before having to dash off to the kindergarten to pick up the Little Genius. As I was strapping the Little Man into the car, I asked my subordinate to get something for me from inside the house as well as to pull in the laundry in case it should rain whilst we were out. The response really infuriated me as she moved at turtle speed to carry out those tasks when it was clear that I was in a rush to send her for her check-up. What ever happened to employees who made sure they were always on their toes so as to stand out and impress the employer during their initial few weeks at their new job?

Yours truly immediately contacted the car distributor (otherwise known as Maid Agency) to do some tweaking, so the proprietor adjusted its programming to the following frequency "In Malaysia, we do things fast, fast". At least now when the ignition key is set at URGENT, our Toyota does travel a gear faster.

Complaints aside, at least our Zoo grounds are a lot cleaner now and it has freed up our time, allowing us more time coaching the girls in their studies and mucking around with the Little Samseng. AND of course I have time to blog again as well as indulge in baking muffins for the family.
So YIPPEE to my Toyota Altis upgrade and fingers crossed for further future upgrades! I look forward with glee to the day I welcome a LEXUS into our household!

~ Jottings from the Heart
by a blessed Mother of Four who continues to persevere with her resolution to be more patient and to have better anger management skills. I tend to close one eye more, and my reprimands are less harsh than a year ago. I have also learnt to let go of my frustrations or irritation, once the reprimand is given.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been missing from the blogging atmosphere for the last 4 months. The inability to pen down my thoughts and frustrations on my dear blog has resulted in some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms. The symptoms include being increasingly impatient and losing my temper at the slightest thing. Regretfully, the victims have been my three princesses, Mr T as well as my parents. Aside from not being able to blog, I have had very little time to catch up with friends. Feeling isolated from the world that I once knew so well was both painful and tortorous.

I had zero ME time.

A pin had abruptly pierced through my bubble causing it to burst with a big bang!

Here is my story.

I have always been the one listening to horror stories about maids from family and friends... I never thought the day would come when i would have my own horror maid story to tell. Perhaps it is because we had been blessed with 2 good maids in the past, Asti and Janette, that I never thought our chapter with Janette would have such a distressful and an abrupt ending. Or perhaps, I had just been too naive.

J was a commendable house-keeper and a great nanny to our four children. She definitely loved them (or so it seemed) and she pampered them as much as she could. Having completed her two year contract in early December, she had agreed to extend her contract for a further 2 years. In fact, she had always been telling the girls, Mr T and I, as well as MIL - my mother in law - that she intends to work for us until the Little Man is ten years old. She was particularly attached to and very protective of the Little Man as they share the same birthdate. At times, one could sense her feeling envious when the Little Man was being overly affectionate with MIL's housekeeper. She always seemed to be the one who was proudest of the Little Man's milestones.

J was scheduled to go home on 10th December for a 17 day break over the Christmas period to see her three daughters whom she had not seen for over two years. Prior to her holiday, we made various trips around town to help J tick off the items on her shopping list. J's main item was a Samsung Galaxy Y for her eldest girl. It had just been launched at that time; hence finding it at the shops was no easy task, as even the Samsung outlets had not received stock of the new phones. We also shopped around for the best possible exchange rate for her ringgit/peso ... surveyed the market for the cheapest imported chocolates that she wanted to buy ... bought her girls girly stationery ... and on and on.

In the days leading to her flight home, she had quietly told the Little Man that she was returning home for a holiday. Everytime she told the Little Man, she would emerge with teary red eyes. And I believe that was no acting; she was an emotional person. She couldn't tell the girls as we had asked her not to. Ying Han was attending a motiviational camp for up-and-coming teenagers so we wanted her to be able to fully concentrate on her camp. As for the 2 younger girls, we did not want them to make a big fuss and become all emotional as our Little Genius was quite attached to J. In fact, the Little Genius had earlier told J that she would be very upset and cry her eyes out if J went home for a holiday. Hence, the joint decision to keep the plans to the adults until after J's departure. Afterall, J was only going back for a 2 week holiday. Or so we thought.

Befor J left for the airport on a midnight flight, I packed her my supply of gastric medicine as I was afraid that the long journey home may bring on her gasric attack. That small step appeared to touch J's heart as she became all teary-eyed as she thanked me for the little bag containing the gastric medication. At the airport, Mr T went searching for the plastic wrapping service so that we could wrap J's luggage in the plastic wrapper to ensure her belongings were not tampered with during the loading and unloading onto the aircraft.

On the morning after, we explained to the two younger girls that their Aunty J had gone home to the Philippines for a two week holiday and that we had kept the news from them as it was a surprise for Aunty J's family. We reassured them that they would be seeing their beloved Aunty J in a little over 2 weeks. As Ying Han's camp had ended the 3 hours before J's departure, she was able to say good bye to Aunty J after a quick explanation of the situation.

When J did not call us by noon on the day after her departure as we had asked her to, Mr T and I became rather worried. We tried calling J's Mum to check on the status, but there was no answer. We became increasingly worried as it was a long journey home. A flight back to Manila, and then a connecting flight to Davao, followed by a 10 hour bus journey to get home to a far-away province. Almost 21 hours later, she finally rang to say that she had safely arrived. She sounded esctatic and had asked about the kids. We were relieved.

Next came the physical exertion. The Zoo Manager had to work doubly hard to ensure all housekeeping needs were adequately met, including the laundry. I more than made up for the lack of exercise that I have done (or not done!) for the past year! God bless my little helpers who tried their best to help me out as best as their little hands could manage! As always, Mr T was very hands-on in helping out in every way that he could too.

The Little Man with his armour
...the humble vacuum cleaner

Hard at Work

My faithful Si Bongkok was a
great help washing & drying dishes

Two days following J's departure, Mr T and I packed everyone into the car and sped off to Hard Rock Penang. We had planned it out beautifully. The holiday was perfect...full of relaxation & rejuvenation. Reality hit me hard when we reached home and emptied all our luggage! SIX people's laundry multiplied by FIVE whole days! Arghhhhh.......it took me 4 days of beautiful sunshine to get through all the laundry!

All dirty and smelly!

Sigh...the ironing is
always the harder part!

As I stood by the ironing board with sweat dripping profusely down my forehead, feeling overpowered by the sweltering heat and high humidity, I made a resolution that I had to tone down my temper and impatient behaviour once J returned from her holiday! For if she was not the one helping me, I would have to be the one slogging over all that, every single day!

Just before Christmas, a typhoon had hit Philippines. We called J to check if she was alright. Even my Mum called from across the Causeway with a similar concern. We heaved a sigh of relief when J told us that they were fine, though they were forced to go to an evacuation centre as their home was flooded. We checked on J a couple of days later and she told us they were busy cleaning up the mess that the typhoon had caused to their house. She enquired about the kids... on hindsight, she still sounded normal with no indication of what may have already been looming in her mind.

We made a call to J on Christmas Day as we all wanted to wish her Merry Christmas. Her mother answered our call in a rather matter-of-fact manner and informed that J had gone out and had not brought the phone with her. When I asked her mother to convey our christmas wishes to J, she reacted in a rather distant manner and the lack of Christmas spirit was clearly felt down the telephone line. Being the pessimist, my immediate gut reaction was to go "Oh, oh! ... something doesn't sound right". That lasted for like 2 seconds before I laughed it off aloud to the ever positive Mr T.
As it turned out, my gut feel was right!

A whole 48 hours later - on the morning that J was to return to Malaysia - we called J to check that she was on the bus from her village to Davao city to catch her connecting flight to Manila on route to Malaysia. We received a big jolt to our system when J answered the phone with "Hi, Ma'am. I am sorry but I cannot come back to Malaysia...my 2 girls have been admitted to hospital with dengue." I was totally unprepared for that and did not know how to respond save to blurt out "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! So When can you come back? Are you coming back??!!!". Those were my last ever words to J before I passed the telephone to Mr Cool T. J told Mr T that she did not have anyone to care for her girls as her mother was unwell too and her father was nowhere to be found. J then told Mr T that she would try and change her flight (though we knew that was impossible as she was travelling on a low-cost carrier) before calling us back. She then hung up.

We were stunned ... in total shock. Mr T went to work in a daze. I tried to keep things normal at the Zoo although the girls knew very well that this was The Day when they were supposed to have their Aunty J home again to spoil and pamper them. Mr T tried calling J in the afternoon only to have J's Mum inform him that she was at the hospital and to call back later in the evening. When Mr T called again in the evening, he was greeted by an operator's voice going "THE LINE IS CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE.". Till today, that is the response we get when we call the number. That single act clearly indicates her intention to cut off all contact with the children.

When evening came and the two younger girls kept asking what time Aunty J was arriving, we were at a loss as to how to explain to the girls that Aunty J was not coming back...at least for now. Though we did the best we could, there were tears streaming down their faces and that just broke my heart as I knew the girls looked to Aunty J as part of the family. We had all treated J as part of the family. She would follow us on our holidays to Singapore. When we went out for dinner, we would bring her along too and she would ate whatever we ate. Mr T and I trusted her enough to leave all our four kids with her during our monthly movie date nights. We trusted her and did not hold back any of her salary in her bank account when she returned.

Mr T and I were at a loss for the next few days. It all hit us so unexpectedly as the signs were clear that J did intend to return when she left for her holiday as her much treasured Prince William and Princess Catherine wedding souvenir magazine was in her bedroom, as were her diaries. Mr T was in a state of shock too as he had always prided himself in his ability to read people's character, and oh, how he misread this one.

I could sense that like us, Ying Han felt very hurt by J's betrayal. She loved J and would confide in her on certain things. For some time after, she repeatedly asked why J lied to us and just left us this way. I just did not have any answers for her. Unlike her sisters, she rarely talks about J anymore. The Little Genius was more expressive. On several occasions, she would become all teary eyed and lamented how much she missed her Aunty J. She went to bed one night with Aunty J tucking her in, and the next morning when she awoke, Aunty J was gone. I could feel her pain and it really hurt when I just could not do anything about it. It was especially difficult when she asked me if I thought J would one day come back. Explaining life's complications to a six year old is rather tricky. You need to tell enough so as to satisfy their curious minds, yet you need be cautious of what you say, how much you say and the way you say it so that they do not feel that it is normal for someone that you love to just pack up and desert you without any warning signs.

To ensure I survived unscathed (physically, emotionally & mentally) for the months to follow, I had to take drastic action! As I have never enjoyed an amicable relationship with the vacuum cleaner and old-fashioned mop, I dashed to the shops to buy Scotch-Brit's super sweeper and mop to ensure that the Zoo grounds were as dust-free as possible...in case MIL should pop by unannounced for a spot-check (which she did on the third day of the calamity...I think I passed the test!)

As it was still the year-end holiday, the zoo was at full occupancy rate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This was both good and bad as it meant I had my little helpers with me, though it also meant a very noisy zoo as there were the inevitable squabbles among the siblings over petty little issues. My voice must have roared through the neighbourhood during those times! It is incredible that I managed to retain my sanity to this day!

When the new school year began, there was utter chaos! After getting the 2 older girls ready for school before Daddy Driver chauffeurs them to school, I would rush to hang out the laundry before gobbling down my breakfast and waking the Little Genius up. The early morning school runs to send the Little Genius to kindergarten meant that I had to drag the Little Man out of bed early every morning. Dealing with the grumpy Little Man who threw his temper tantrums at me for distrubing him from his beauty sleep and getting the Little Genius all dressed and fed and reaching the school on time became my daily weekday challenge!

On most mornings, I would somehow managed to sneak in a 15 minute visit to the park on the way home for the Little Man to burn out his energy before tucking him back to bed for a compulsory morning nap so that I could get lunch prepared on time. This arrangement had its perks. The 15 minute visit to the park meant that I could quickly flip through the morning papers. Pretending to sleep, while putting the Little Man to sleep for his morning nap, meant that I could recharge for 10 minutes before preparing lunch.

After feeding the Little Man his lunch, it's time to zoom off to pick the Little Genius from kindergarten at 12.15. During their afternoon nap is when I clean up the kitchen, then toil over the ironing board to sort all the laundry before cleaning the house and then running into the shower to ensure that I look decent and smell good before dropping the 2 younger kids at my in-laws' house, before picking the 2 older girls from school at 5.00 p.m. There were times when the Little Man was uncooperative and would demand to have his sweaty, smelly mummy put him back to sleep should he awake midway through his nap-time.

Mind you, I could only manage enough energy to clean the floors. For sanity's sake, I decided to allow dust to occupy the shelves in our zoo to which super hygieninc Mr T kindly turned a blind eye too (but when it did get too much, he very kindly cleaned it all up). We even managed to do some spring cleaning to welcome in the new Chinese New Year.

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! I lamented to my boss that never in my corporate life have I ever had so many overlapping deadlines that were never ending!

A pat on my head and Mr T's too, for during the 3 months that we had to juggle the zoo to make sure everyone was well fed and taken care of, and that the hygiene standards at the zoo was maintained, we worked really well as a team. Mr T took great effort in ensuring that he got home as early as possible to help out at the zoo. Of course, there were a couple of occasions when yours truly threatened to resign but that was all NATO - No Action, Talk Only.

At the end of all the chaos for the last three months, we survived. WE SURVIVED!

I am ever so thankful for my support network. PIL (my dear father in law), who is also the family chef for our family evening meals has been great at ensuring that he cooks meals that are also suitable for the Little Man. PIL has also been of tremendous help as my back-up driver to pick the 2 older girls from school twice a week. MIL too, has been great in arranging for her maid to come over to help out on certain days to clean the toilets, garage, etc.

I still lay awake at times quietly wondering what happened to J that caused her to betray our family. I am convinced that she must have made up a story of her girls having dengue so that we would not ask any questions. Couldn't she just have returned for that extended one year as agreed before proceeding with any other plans that she may have been harbouring? That way, everyone would be happy and my girls need not have had to suffer this painful chapter in their lives. We could have kept in touch (as we do with Asti, our first maid from Indonesia) and the bond between her and the girls would have remained unbroken. I have no closure and though it really bugs me, I have slowly learned to let go.

The events of the last few months have signifcantly improved my fitness levels. The housework coupled with those buckets load of sweat has done wonders in terms of my slimming progress. The downside has been having to constantly nurse my severely cracked heels and chapped fingers. I now have bottles of my trusted Jergens intensive moisturiser scattered throughout the house; one in my bathroom, one in the kitchen and one in my automobile!

Here is an animated view of A Day in the Life of a Zookeeper from 11 Dec 2011 to 15 March 2012.
[Editor's note: Many thanks to the publishers and owners of the clipart pictures used below.]

So yes...our bubble has burst albeit temporarily. We have succesfully pulled through with no major damage (except to our beloved banker for having to fork out the agency fees for my new assistant). I truly believe that we have each moved up a level.

Ying Han is now a little more domesticated...she is pretty good as my part-time dishwasher ...

The Whining Queen who is 7+, now packs her own school bag and showers by herself ... even the Little Genius who is now 6 is very good at showering herself.

As for the Little Samseng, he now insists on feeding himself which is great...I just have to catch the food that inadvertently falls off between that little gap between the edge of the spoon and his mouth.

And he no longer needs to be PAT, PAT on his upper leg in order to sleep.

So yes, I couldn't be prouder of my brood.

~ Written from the Heart
by an exhausted Mother of Four who is in dire need of recharging her batteries and who continues to look forward to bedtime at night so that she can finally have some much treasured quiet ME time. Unless the kids are all in la-la-land, there is always a high risk of someone barging into the shower to distrupt her peace just so that she/he can complain about what another sibling is doing, or not doing, to her/him. This blessed Mother of Four continues to count her blessings and is learning to let go of matters that are just beyond her control. Having now written her thoughts and feelings out on the entire event, she is finally able to have some sort of closure on this chapter.

Tio's Little Ones

Sunday, April 22, 2012

My Super Milk Tank

A new chapter begins.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Back-stabbed!