The Curse of the Hair Cut

The Abashed Editor's note: This post was originally drafted way back in 15 October 2012 and was sadly abandoned in the draft folder for unknown reasons. The dust has since been embarrassingly wiped off, minor grammatical edits carried out with the necessary polishing prior to posting almost 16 months after the events described below took place. Better late than never...please do bear with me.

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I spoke too soon.
Not long after finishing off my original draft for my "Hold My Hand" posting, the Little Man rapidly moved up a couple of notches on the Cheekiness Scale. The crazy thing is that one of my SILs (acronym for sister-in-law) and I have noticed that after every haircut, the Little Samseng seems to get naughtier and more daring in his stunts! I know it is hard for anyone to imagine, but trust me, it is so true. So much so, that I am now so weary of taking the Little Samseng for his next haircut! Perhaps I should just let him be a Little Hippie and let him grow his hair out!

Here's the proof after his latest haircut:

1. The Little Samseng took a small stick from who-knows-where at GrandPa (Yeh-yeh) and GrandMa's house and put it in his mouth after dinner one night. GrandMa immediately told him off before reporting his mischief to Mr T and I as we were enjoying some quiet time at the dinner table. The Little Man was duly punished when we reached home as Mr T locked him outside the house in the garage and reprimanded him for a whole five minutes.

The next day, whilst the Little Samseng and I were on our way to pick the Little Genius from kindergarten, we drove past a police rider who had stopped a car by the side of the road. The Little Man promptly said" Mummy, see Policeman ... Policeman catch Daddy ... then giggled to himself. When I stared at him from my rear-view mirror, he then said "policemen, catch Mummy also!" whilst chuckling to himself.


2.The Daily Afternoon Warfare
This October month has been a constant struggle with the Little Samseng to keep to his sleeping routine, i.e. sleeping till at least 9.00 a.m. in the mornings and a 2 hour nap every afternoon. Since that fateful day when we brought him for his latest haircut, the Jackyl in him has taken a back step whilst Mr Hyde is on full display! He now punctually wakes up between the timeframe of 7.45 and 8.10a.m. and his afternoon nap has not reached anywhere the 60 minute mark so far this month! As a result, the Little Samseng now closely resembles Kungfu Panda whilst his blessed mother's already short wick is getting shorter and the fuse is ready to blow up at anytime!

The Little Panda would come up with a string of excuses to not sleep and this had tested my patience to its maximum. His excuses would range from stomach ache (his all time favourite, and the complaint would almost always be accompanied by some sort of wriggling in pain action on the floor), drink water, see Yeh-Yeh, etc.  Dynamites have been exploding left, right and centre for the first ten days of October. I am slowly learning to accept that certain things just can't be changed, so I just need to adapt and accept that I will have very little ME time for at least the next five years.

Before the warfare started this afternoon, I told the Little Samseng to "sleep for so, so long, otherwise I will tell Pin Ku-Ku and Ta Ku-Ku not to give you any Kungfu Panda chocolates (which Ta Ku-Ku had just bought for them from Beijing). The Little Samseng responded to say " I like Yeh-Yeh. I kiss Yeh-Yeh, then Yeh-Yeh give Ching Tom Kungfu Panda chocolate." Upon hearing my response that "Mummy will then tell Yeh-Yeh not to give Ching Tom any chocolate", the Little Samseng replied with a smirk on his face "I kiss Yeh-Yeh two times then Yeh-Yeh give Ching Tom Kungfu Panda chocolate!".

Now, do you sympathise?


3. Ninja Warrior

Lately, the Little Genius, the Little Samseng and their Loyal Slave have been glued to Ninja Warrior on Disney XD channel every weekday lunch time. It is amazing how the urge to watch Ninja Warrior can inspire the Little Genius to gobble up her lunch within 30 minutes (as she is barred from watching it if she exceeds that time frame). Whilst watching the programme, the Little Samseng's vivid imagination always leads him to believe that the living room sofa chairs, stools and his Loyal Slave are part of the obstacles on the Ninja Warrior course. 
Just this afternoon, as I was prepping the Cheeky Samseng for his afternoon nap, he proudly proclaimed himself as the Ninja Warrior and pointed at his Loyal Slave and proclaiming her as "Mummy is Naughty Warrior"!.


I am convinced that The Powers Above intentionally bestowed on all babies and toddlers that irresistable baby smell as it really does act like and antidote for me. When the Little Samseng tries to light up the short wick on my dynamite, my nose will instinctively find its way near to the Little Samseng's rock solid head to get a good sniff of his baby smell. Those couple of sniffs immediately act like an antidote and calms me down and halts my blood pressure from rising any further. Unfortunately, it does not work all the time especially now as he grows older and the irresistable baby smell is partially replaced by the unmistakable sweat of the the Ninja Warrior!!


~ Written by a walking dynamite who is very blessed to have the Little Samseng as her son.

Hold My Hand

It happened only once on that very special night in July, before I put a stop to it.
I confess that it broke my heart to do it, but I had to.
Mr T and I were sound asleep when all of a sudden, in the still of the night, the Little Man said, "HOLD HANDS, MUMMY!".
I kept very still, hoping that he was just talking in his sleep.
And then it happened again. Those three words sounded in the quiet of the night.

Not wanting to wake up Mr T and create a scene in that unearthly hour, I did as I was told! I pulled the Little Man's cot nearer to my side of the bed and held his adorable little hand in between the cot railings. The Little Man gave it a squeeze and said "Good night, Mummy. I love you.". My heart melted as I thought that was rather sweet of the Little Man ... showing his affection and appreciation for his Loyal Servant. That is, until he continued to insist that I hold his hand through the night! It was a rather ackward position as I had to hold his right hand with my left hand through the little gaps of the cot railing. So as soon as I thought that he had fallen back to sleep, I slowly released my grip only to be firmly told "HOLD HANDS, MUMMY!". 

This happened over and over and again until it became increasingly ridiculous to have to lose my much needed sleep over a 30 month old Little Man insisting to hold hands through the night.  Still, I did not have the heart to reprimand him in the still of the night, for fear of wounding his pride and of course, I did not want to evoke any feelings of jealousy with my loyal husband who was sleeping next to me. I compromised by holding just one little finger before we fell deep asleep again ... until now, I am still unsure who fell back to dreamland again that night.

The next evening, as I was chatting to my dear Mama and updating her on what her daughter and grandchildren were up to north of the Causeway, my dearest Mama cracked up laughing when told of the Little Man's antics the night before. When it came to the Little Man's turn to talk to his Po-Po, his Po-Po dispensed her grandmotherly advice to him about not disturbing Mummy and Daddy at night. The dutiful and obedient grandson took heed to the grandmotherly advice and that night and for a few more nights therafter, the Little Man slept through the night with no more hanky-panky.

Since that episode, Mr T and I have stuck to the same routine every night, whereby I leave the bedroom first after singing the Barney "I love you, you love me" song, and then exchanging our goodnight kisses and hugs, telling the Little Man that "Mummy has to wash all the dirty clothes, then Mummy will come back up to sleep. Jing Fong sleep first, okay.". Often the Little Man would reply to lament that he is sweating despite the air-conditioner being on as well as the fan! My standard reply, accompanied by a smile and a nod: "Jing Fong is a big boy. Jing Fong turn your pillow around yourself.". That usually does the trick before I run off for some ME time, albeit after sorting out the dirty laundry!

After a couple of minutes, Mr T then tells the Little Man that "Daddy has to go and wash your milk bottle, Jing Fong is a good boy...sleep first, then Daddy will come and sleep later". The big Little Man's standard reply to this Daddy is "Good night, Daddy. Off all the lights.". Occasionally, the Little Man will try and bargain with his Daddy for a few more minutes of 'together-time' by giving lame excuses ... need to shhh-shhh..., poo-poo, sweating...", but his Daddy is always able to immediately put a stop to it on those occasions.

So that is how Mr T and I managed to train the Little Man to go to sleep by himself at the ripe old age of 31 months! Not quite a text-book kind of way, but it worked out well without distressing the little kiddo.

Fast forward to a month later in August...
After finishing my nightly chores, I crept quietly into my bedroom for my nightly bathroom routine as my two favourite men lay fast asleep. As I was flossing my teeth, I suddenly heard a little voice going "Ehh..Mummy...where Mummy?". As I peeped out of the bathroom, I saw the Little Man half-standing, pointing to my side of the bed and asking himself the all important question "eh..why Mummy not there one?". When the Little Man spotted me peeping out of the bathroom, he then self-declared "Oh, Mummy finish doing clothes, read newspapers, d". I gave the irresistable Little Man a kiss and said Good Night to him. He returned to his sleeping position and off he went to dreamland again. Unbelievable. I did wonder to myself whether he had been pretending to be asleep for the last hour, or if he was sleep-talking before concluding that his senses were just too highly sensitive to the smells and movements of his Loyal Servant.

The Little Man IS growing up really fast.
Surrounded by his 3 sisters, his aunts, grandparents and all that activity that keeps our home buzZ, buzZ, buzZing everyday, he picks up words from all of us very quickly and is quite a genius at mimicking our actions. Recently, his sisters received a letter each from Po-Po. The envelope was addressed to Princess No. 3, who then delivered the respective letters to Sister No. 1 and Sister No. 2. As she was in the process of doing so, the Little Man clearly did not want to feel left out. He pleaded to his Sister No. 3 "Ching Tom also want letter from Po-Po, can? Can San Jie?". I am still unsure whether he knew exactly what this exchange of letters with Po-Po was about; he just did not want to feel left out. When I later related this to my dearest Mama, she quickly got to work and sent the Little Man a letter stuck with pictures of racing cars and a bull-dozer on it!

A little more than a month ago, I received word from one of the kindergarten teachers that the Little Genius has apparently not been completing her Maths homework. Tiger Mum here got all upset and reprimanded the Little Genius in the car on the way home from kindie. When we alighted from the car, the Little Genius appeared to stand frozen at the door-way. I pretended not to notice as I was not about to coax her after my reprimand session. Instead, I spotted the Little Man quietly telling his San Jie "Come, Ching Tom hold your hand, k?" and proceeded to lovingly hold her hand ever so lightly to lead her into the house.

Upon returning from dinner at GrandPa's house a couple of weeks ago, I was about to alight from the car when I asked the Little Man to help me carry the clean kitchen rags and hand-towels (that MIL's maid had helped me wash) down from the car. My instructions were very clear: "Please help Mummy take these cloths inside".  The Little Man happily took the cloths from me and entered the Zoo. As I entered the Zoo, I was distracted by the usual whines of the Whining Queen. As soon as I settled her, I walked straight into the kitchen to prepare their nightly ritual of Cod Liver Oil and their other vitamin supplements before packing them off to bed.  To my utter surprise, I found my Little Man quietly sitting by the kitchen drawer trying to stuff in the clean rags and hand-towels into the drawer. It just melted my heart to see my Little Man acting all grown-up ... he had walked that extra mile that none of his three sisters have ever done in that regard.The usual response I would get if I had passed the clean rags to any of the girls would either be "Mummy, where to put the hand-towels?", or "Mummy, I put the hand-towels on the stairs, ok?".

I was so plesantly taken aback by the Little Man's action that all I could manage out of my mouth was "Ooowwww...you're so sweet. Thank you so much" whilst patting his shoulders and kissing his forehead. This of course instantly attracted the attention of the other Zoo members who rushed to see what all that "Oohh....Ahhhh....Ooowwww......" was all about. I just could not resist the temptation and said "Wow! See what your little brother is doing all by himself without me asking him to do it!". Their eyes spoke what their mouths failed to say ... "Ai-ya! I also know how to do what, just that I don't do it unless I am asked to....what's the big deal...". 

The Little Man is really my BIG Little Man and I am so proud of his development.

Lately, the BIG Little Man likes to sit behind me, and then wrap his arms tightly around me from behind. At first, I thought that was such a sweet and affectionate gesture from my Little Man. How wrong I was! It appears that the Little Man was just visualising me as his motorcyle, with him as the pillion rider! The cheeky Little Man has even sneaked into my kitchen cabinet to grab a basket and put it on his head, proclaiming it to be his trusted helmet!!

My pride and joy

... who incidentally happen to also be the

igniting cause of my recent numerous volcanic eruptions!

~ Written by an emotionally and mentally challenged Mother of Four
who is trying to be as diligent as possible in jotting down all her blessings so that when the tough gets going, she can remind herself to dig into her memory pockets and take a moment to pause and chuckle to avoid turning into a Monster Mum!

Nightmare - Part II

It's amazing how quickly one's life can change, whether for the better or for the worse.
This is a brief summing-up of the last five days at the Tio Household.

23 July 2012 - 10.00 hrs
I was enjoying breakfast with the Little Man when out of the blue, our 'Toyota Vios' (which was recently downgraded from the Toyota Altis that was mentioned in my earlier blog postings) put herself on parking mode, slowly switched on her wipers and uttered those magic words: "Ma'am, can i talk to you?". Though I smelt trouble, I had no inkling of what she was about to say till she said it.

I nearly choked on my hot cup of Milo when continued on to say "Ma'am, can I go home for one week?".
My morning chirpiness immediately evaporated and was replaced with a scowl and an immediate "No, of course not!". I wanted to add on "Are you crazy?" but I thought I'd better just keep my mouth shut. As soon as she heard the word NO, she automatically switched on her wiper and spray to rapid mode and the drama began in fullness.

"My brother called me at 8.30 and said my father do like this to my children (whilst mimicking the action of someone punching the stomach) .... and said my husband no come home for a month (she had just spoken to her husband 5 days ago and all had seemed well!! ...she calls home almost weekly, or at the very least every fornightly)...".

Going straight to the point, I shot her three questions. 1. What does your brother expect you to do? You are so far away.  2. Why doesn't he call your husband to tell him about the children (particularly as she had always said how good, kind and patient her husband is)?  3. Has your brother called the police? Apparently, she claims her father used to abuse her from childhood to adulthood too.

As I shot her those questions, my gut feeling told me that she was creating those stories to wiggle her way home because if in fact there was a phone call (and she often talks very loud on the phone), the Little Man would have woken up as he is a light sleeper. When I arrived home from sending the Little Genius to kindergarten, the Little Man was still fast asleep. Hence, I did not believe her drama as there had been previous mini-drama episodes before.

When I stayed firm with my answer, she suddenly stood up and continued with her dramatic acting whilst echoing the words, "my head very pain Ma'am...my heart very pain...my caesar operation scar also very pain...I every night go grandma's house and cry at the back...tell Laha very pain...". Her dramatic potrayal of the pain could have won her the Best Razzies award (that's the Hollywood award presented for worst acting in film)!

A little background information...
We had previously taken her to the doctor's to consult about the headache and chest pains within a few weeks of her arrival (guess it was all doomed from the beginning!). During that time, I had to watch daytime drama as she would walk very slowly as if in pain, and breath very heavily as if struggling for breath whenever I was in the kitchen area. The doctor assured her that there was nothing wrong with her heart...blood pressure was excellent...appears she had always been suffering from migraines since her teenage years. The doctor told her that her "heart ache" was due to her not sleeping well because she keeps thinking of her children at night and not being able to let go. In fact the doctor even counselled her to let go and enjoy her time in Malaysia...new country..new things to experience....That worked like a magic potion as she improved days after that.

A couple of weeks after, she asked for a repeat prescription of the headache pills. As she had herself admitted that she had this pre-existing condition from years and years ago, she had to fork out this money herself. Moreoever, we were convinced that it was all part of her drama to declare herself medically unfit so that she can be sent home! Apparently, the maids are told of their rights before leaving home...one of that is that if the maid is declared medically unfit whilst working in Malaysia, the maid's contract may be prematurely terminated and sent home at the employer's costs!

When she discovered that the pills cost RM1 each, she miraculously became migraine-free literally overnight. In fact, I had just asked her about a month ago if she still had her headaches. And she happily told me that she had not had any headaches for a long time now. (Of course I had been keeping watch of the strip of 10 tablets that I had bought her in early May...up till last Sunday, I noticed there was still 1 pill left).
Just like the boy who cried wolf, Mr T and I were attuned to her "medical drama".

23 July 2012 - 10.15 hrs
As our Toyota Vios (which had in a matter of minutes rapidly downgraded herself to become a Tut-tut) continued to put herself in Parking gear, I told her that "I am not stupid...if you go home for a week, I know you will not come back".
The tut-tut then had the nerve to ask me, "then Ma'am, can I go home and no come back?!".

With my blood boiling whilst still trying to keep it cool in front of the Little Man, I gave her a mini lecture "your contract is for 2 years and you had told the agent and us, that your children will be well taken care of by your mother during your time here. You can't just come out here and try and see if you like it...don't like then say want to go home! (for more background info, she had never worked before...remember her husband cooked and took care of her boys as babies...her version of cooking was cooking rice and maggi noodles as breakfast for her children before sending them off to school!)". You are already here for more than 4 months...just a year and a half more and you will go home...
I can call Ma'am Justina (i.e. our agent) for you and she will tell you the same thing.

The tut-tut spontaneously replied, Ok...call Ma'am Justina.
I just gave her my dirtiest look and ended the discussion.

23 July 2012 - 12.50 hrs
As I was feeding the Little Man his lunch, the Little Genius smelling beautifully fresh from her shower after school in her sweet innocence came running (with the Tut-tut behind her) and said "Mummy, Aunty Lyn (otherwise known as the Tut-tut) said she...". Then she looked at Aunty Lyn who by that time had moved to stand behind me and must have made some body language that got the Little Genius to say "It's ok...can tell Mummy"...... "Mummy, Aunty Lyn said she wants to die".

I totally flipped! How could she say such things to an innocent 6 year old girl! Not wanting to make it a big deal in front of the Little Genius, I brushed off the comment and totally changed the subject with the Little Genius whilst giving my most evil stare at the Tut-tut. The Little Genius persisted and asked "Why Aunty Lyn say she want to die?". To quell her curiousity, I just told the Little Genius that Aunty Lyn misses her children very much and she seemed to accept that answer.

A hundred and one thoughts ran wild through my mind. Images of a beserk woman running amok with a parang ran swiftly through my mind. I immediately changed my sitting position to make sure that my back was against the wall so that I could see what the Tut-tut was up to all the time. I called the agent as soon as I could to update her of the latest drama. The agent spoke to the Tut-tut and calmed her down by a miniscule dot by saying they will call her sister and brother to try and sort out her family situation.

I noticed that the Tut-tut hardly ate her lunch but I refused to make a big hoo-ha about it.

23 July 2012 - 15:20 hrs
I called for immediate reinforcements as I could not leave my two babies at home whilst I went out to fetch the 2 older girls home from school. One of Mr T's sister came over to baby-sit whilst I   went out. Thanks, SIL, for giving me peace of mind whilst I went on my chauffering duties!

Before leaving home, I counselled the Tut-tut who by then had appeared to calm down though she was still looking rather dazed. I basically told her that adult problems stay with adults and not to involve innocent children who cannot understand the notion of death. She appeared remorseful and apologised for involving the Little Genius.

I rushed off to school to pick the 2 older girls with a hundred and one thoughts racing through my mind.

23 July 2012 - 18:45 hrs
Mr T returns home and goes straight into a counselling session with the Tut-tut. She calms down further when Mr T told her that she can use his handphone to call her husband at 22:00. Mr T and I make a quick assessment of the situation. Mr T remembers that a couple of weeks ago, the Tut-tut had informed Mr T after one of the phonecalls home that her husband queried her on why she was still crying over the phone when she has already been here for four months. The Tut-tut then added "... husband said you stay there, no come back...". At that time, we had interpreted it as the husband was relieved that her gambling addiction days were over and she was not eating up all his hard-earned money, but instead was learning just how difficult it is to earn money. Perhaps the Tut-tut interpreted it differently.

23 July 2012 - 19:15 hrs
We head off to Grandma and Grandpa's house for dinner. Our tween and the Little Genius decide to walk there instead of joining us for the short car ride. The Tut-tut joins them for the short walk. As she walked over to join the girls, her face which had been full of misery the entire day appeared to be suddenly replaced by a smile and I am sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me when I saw her skip over to cross the road to join the girls for the walk. She looked trouble-free.

Having given the extended family an up-to-date on what was happening with our Tut-tut, dear ol' MIL reassured me that if in fact she had cried or complained to MIL's maid, MIL would be the first to know as her maid is well reknown to share secrets with all willing ears out there!

23 July 2012 - 20:30 hrs
After we finished our dinner, I nipped to the kitchen to check on whether our Tut-tut had finished her dinner as we were preparing to head home to put our exhausted girls to bed. To my amazement (especially since she only had a teeny bit to eat during lunch), our Tut-tut was happily digging into the bowl of fried la-la that PIL had cooked for dinner. It really appeared to be a case of Jekyll and Hyde!

23 July 2012 - 22:00 hrs
Miss Hyde returned into her semi-comatose state as she is unable to reach her husband on the telephone. She called numerous times but there was no answer. I avoided her the entire night and slept with our bedroom door ajar so that I could hear if the Tut-tut creeped up the stairs and opened the child-safe door on the stairs.... my wild imagination causes me to have a restless, sleepness night.

24 July 2012 - 07:30 hrs
As I was waking up the Little Genius from her beauty sleep to get her ready for kindergarten, Mr T suddenly appeared at the door. He  unexpectedly returned home after sending the 2 older girls to school as he did not have a good feeling about our Tut-tut who looked totally out of it when he saw her early in the morning. She was in a total daze, with a zonked out look. She told Mr T not to buy anymore phone cards as she did not want to call her husband anymore.

24 July 2012 - 10:00 hrs
Mr T asked the Tut-tut to eat her breakfast as we were going to bring her to the agent's office. She told Mr T she was not hungry. It was one of those rare occasions that Mr T lost his temper with the Tut-tut  as her told her that he was not asking her to eat the bread, but telling her to do so! She appeared to struggle through that one slice of bread.

We bundled the Little Man and our Tut-tut into the car and made our way to the agent's office. Mr T and I filled our agent with all the details of the drama show put on by our Tut-tut. Our very experienced agent (we have been using her since 2007 and she is pretty good) informed us that the choice is ours as to whether we accede to our request to return home. Before we made our decision, we asked our agent to speak to the Tut-tut and give us her assessment as to whether the situation was worth salvaging.

By noon, the agent was still drilling the Tut-tut; Mr T noticed that her staff had suddenly put on some Cantonese music to help drown out all the shouting. We could hear our agent talking to her Phillipine counterpart who was also counselling the Tut-tut.

Our agent who is a real chilli padi, emerged from the counselling session with a fed-up look and told us it would be best to let the Tut-tut go. None of us wanted to have to go through all this drama again should she continue to stay on and "recover" only to have a recurrence of this entire saga at a later date. Moreover, our agent told us as the Tut-tut has been working for us for less than 6 months, she would give us a replacement maid of our choice though we would have to fork our for some minimal fees, with some other fees being absorbed by the agent.

Having gone through all the drama in the last 7 months, I told Mr T that given the choice I would rather not have any more live-in maids. I'd just have to ship the Little Man off to play school for a few hours every morning, giving me enough time to clean the house and prepare lunch. But alas, he is still too young and we admittedly still do need assistance for now, to keep the house spick and span. Otherwise, I may just go insane without any ME time and feeling hassled all day long trying to complete all the household chores on time, prepare an appetising lunch on time, pick the Little Genius on time and still have enough energy to ensure quality time with the kids AND hubby, be it reading or baking muffins and cakes, etc. As it is now, even my shower time often gets rudely interrupted by someone barging in unannounced into the bathroom to update me with whose fighting with who over what.

In the last 4 months since we had the Tut-tut, the Little Man has become quite a book-worm and his vocabulary has multipied at an unbelievable rate. The Little Genius has also become quite an advanced reader and can write pretty decent letters to her Po-Po in Singapore. I would like to keep all that momentum up and to do so, I do need help.

24 July 2012 - 12:30 hrs
Before leaving the agent's office to pick the Little Genius from kindie, we asked our agent for biodatas of Filipino maids, with a strict preference for single ladies with no children. Of course, we know that with single maids, you have a different set of problems. There is no ideal situation ... we can only keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

We leave the Tut-tut with the agent as they have to sort out various paper-work with her.

24 July 2012 - 15:00 hrs
Just as I am about to tuck in the two kiddies for their afternoon nap, I receive a call from Mr T who had earlier left to pick up the Tut-tut from the agent's office. The agent had arranged for a video call for us to have a look at the two potential Filipino maids that they have ready for employment in Phillipines. Mr T makes a U-turn and comes to pick us up. The two kiddies are thrilled to escape their afternoon nap for an adventure out!

The video streaming is not clear; the visuals are okay-ish but the audio is pretty bad.  It was more a chance for us to check them out, rather than to conduct any sort of interview. We decide to go for the single lady, as opposed to the single mother of a 5-year old girl. Apparently, these two are the best biodata that they have at the moment. Fingers crossed.

As for the Tut-tut, the agent informs her that her she will try and get the earliest flight home for her. The Tut-tut is well aware that she would have to fork out the costs of her entire journey home by herself as she is leaving prematurely at her own request. In fact, she had already worked out that she had enough savings (over RM700) to bear the costs home. She had already planned it all out. The agent then asks the Tut-tut if she wants to stay at the agent's office whilst waiting for her flight home, or to return to her dungeon where she can still work and earn a few days' salary whilst waiting for THE day. The Tut-tut chooses to return to her dungeon.

Mr T resigns to the fact that this is the only maid of ours, and of our extended family's, who has really got what she wanted.

24 July 2012 - 16:00 hrs
We bring the Tut-tut home and give her a string of chores to do, to fill up her empty mind and soul. As for me, it was pay-back time as she had disrupted our entire day. As she was mopping the floor, I just had to get it out of my system that "you have caused nothing but problems for everyone"!. With just those exact words, the Tut-tut acts out another drama as she slowly immerses the mop-cloth into the bucket of water ...... gradually brings it up to her chest level ...... and wrings the cloth in super... slowwww...motion thus allowing the water to go drip ... drip ... drip ... into the bucket 3 feet below... whilst her expressionless face stares into space. I pretended I could see no evil nor hear no evil and just walked straight out of the kitchen, totally gobsmacked at the continuing drama.

Unbeknown to me, Mr T had earlier told her off for wasting everyone's time and said something along the lines of "now that you have got what you wanted, you better complete all your work properly. It was one of those rare moments when Mr T actually momentarily loses his cool with the Tut-tut.

We then rush off with the two younger kids in tow to fetch the two older kids from school. Had to reschedule our tween's tuition a little later as we were running late. Total chaos.

24 July 2012 - 17:15 hrs
As we arrive home, the agent called to inform that her office has managed to get a flight home for the Tut-tut on 27 July at 6.00 a.m.; hence, we had to drop the Tut-tut back at the distribution centre (a.k.a. the agent's office) by noon on 26 July 2012. The agent then spoke to the Tut-tut, telling her that they have managed to get her a ticket on 1 August as that is the earliest, available flight. Perhaps realising that she was not going to have an easy few days with us, the Tut-tut starts sobbing and tells the agent that she now wants to go back to the agent's office to stay until her flight home. Amidst the chaos and pretending not to notice the latest drama, we rush off to send the Whining Queen to her piano class leaving the agent to deal with the Tut-tut's latest drama over the phone.

The agent subsequently informed Mr T that she reprimanded the Tut-tut, telling her that we were actually doing her a favour by providing her with a roof over her head whilst waiting for her flight home! The Tut-tut bucks up a little.

25 July 2012 
Whilst I was quietly having my breakfast (i was relieved of my school chauffering duties as we didn't dare leave the Tut-tut alone with any of the younger kiddies) and treasuring the time when there was still someone else to do all the washing and cleaning, the Tut-tut asks me in a rather faint voice if she could have some of my gastric medicine. That led me to give her a spontaneous lecture on how she creates problems for herself and others around her as I had on numerous occasions prior to this, advised her on the importance of eating regular meals and never letting the stomach go hungry ... lest she wants to suffer from incapacitating gastric attackes like I unfortunately do. I reminded her on her initial refusal to eat the bread that Mr T asked her to eat the day before, and how she then only went on to have one small slice of bread...as well as her literally deciding to skip lunch as part of the drama on Monday. I gave her the gastric medicine with instructions on when & how to eat it and never asked her again on whether her gastric was better.

The amount of work that the Tut-tut did today was equivalent to more than an entire week's chores!
Sweep, mop, wash all bathrooms...the garage, the back-yard, clean the fans, wash the curtains in the living room and master bedroom...as well as wipe the curtain rail and clean the windowpanes. No more drama...just sweat and toil as she counted down her last seven days.

Just before the girls' bedtime, we called for a family meeting with the girls as well as the Tut-tut in attendance. We informed the girls that the Tut-tut had asked to return home to Phillipines as she missed her children very much and was very sad to be apart from them. Despite my anger and utter frustration at the entire situation, I believe we chaired the meeting rather diplomatically. We wanted to give the girls a chance to say goodbye to the Tut-tut properly. The Tut-tut just stood quiely at the sidelines, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Not sure whether those were crocodile tears, or tears of joy (is my sarcasm ringing through?). The Little Genius shed a few tears, followed by the Whining Queen. Mr T and I dispersed from the meeting, leaving the two younger girls to give the Tut-tut a hug before they went up to bed. The Little Genius later reported to me that the Tut-tut did not say a single word to them but just leaned against the wall, with her continuing display of waterworks.

During our little family meeting, the Little Man continued wandering in, out and around the meeting room, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. He was on model behaviour, occupying himself with his own singing & role-play (i.e. pretending to be the roti-man and the gas-man).

26 July 2012
As the Tut-tut was finishing up with her last sweep and mop of her dungeons, I asked MIL to come over to help me pack the Tut-tut's belongings. The Tut-tut may have suspected that today was THE day, as before Mr T left for work, he asked the Tut-tut to take down her luggage as he wanted to check it. What more with MIL's unusual presence at our home in the morning. As I went to look for the Tut-tut as soon as she finished mopping the floor to ask her to shower, I found her automatically getting her towel and change of clothes from her shelves before I even opened my mouth.

MIL and I then proceed to pack the Tut-tut's bag in her presence. There was not much to pack as most of her earnings were spent on i-TALK phone cards. I then told the Little Man that Aunty Lyn was going home to the Phillipines. To my utter surprise, the Little Man replied "Ohh ... Aunty Lyn going home ... see children right, Mummy?". I was left dumbfounded and speechless by the Little Man! Unbeknown to any of us, the 30 month old Little Man had been a passive participant of the family meeting the night before!

As we were about to leave the house, MIL must have said some touching words to the Tut-tut as her mini waterworks began flowing. The Little Man then swayed towards the Tut-tut, in his little samseng way. As the Tut-tut happened to be kneeling down at that moment to zip up her bag, the Little Man suddenly reached his little fingers towards her, wiped away her tears from her cheeks, and comforted the Tut-tut with the words "don't cry, Aunty Lyn...ok?....don't cry...Ching Tom love Aunty Lyn, ok?". To see my BIG Little Man do that really touched my heart.

26 July  2012 - 13:00hrs
As my car approached the distribution centre, I thought I'd give the Tut-tut a chance to say her good-byes to us, in particular the Little Man. I told the Little Man to say good bye to the Tut-tut "as Aunty Lyn is going home, far far away". There was no response from the Tut-tut. None whatsoever. No words of good-bye, nor a flying kiss, hug or even a gentle stroke on the Little Man's loveable face from the Tut-tut . Instead, the Tut-tut just alighted from the car, went around to the boot where I was standing, carried her luggage out and walked straight towards the agent. I did not receive a word of thanks, not even a smile nor a nod as a thank you gesture. The Tut-tut did not even ask to convey her thanks or goodbye to Mr T (who treated her really well!) nor to the three princesses. I pretended to take no notice and continued talking to the agent before hopping back into my car and driving off to greener pastures with MIL and the BIG Little Man.

26 July  2012 - 14:30hrs
PIL (otherwise known as Papa-in-law) cooks a simple lunch for us at his place. After lunch, the Little Genius (who PIL helped pick up from kindie), the Little Man and I return home. As soon as we enter our home, the Little Man said to me "Aunty Lyn go home d right ... see children right, Mummy?". With a little pat on the Little Man's head, I said "yes, that's right. So you and Jie-Jie must help Mummy and Daddy okay?". And with that, I send the two precious little ones up for their afternoon nap and hurriedly begin to fold and iron the clean laundry as they nap.


It has been a long, long week.
Little did we know that when we started the new week early on Monday morning, that we would be returning our Toyota Vios back to the assembly line by the end of the week and begin our wait for a new one. Despite everyone's advice and counsel, I guess the Tut-tut just could not let go of her homesickness and concentrate on the here and now. I'd like to think of our home as a very happy and noisy home with lots of going-ons ... lots of distractions .... where time flies and happiness abound.

I continue to be ever so thankful for my extended support network, especially my parents-in-law who have volunteered to help out with the chauffeuring duties early in the morning so that the Little Man can have uninterrupted sleep in the morning as well as his afternoon nap, as well as my SILs, (a.k.a. Mr T's sisters) who have been helping out with babysitting duties.

With all our fingers and toes crossed, we are hoping to be proud "owners" of a far more superior Toyota model in a couple of months' time.  In the meantime, it is it is going to be an exhausting and challenging two months ahead as it is back to a one-woman show at the domestic front from 7.00 a.m. to 7.00 p.m. every weekday as I struggle with juggling to provide cleaning services, cooking services, laundry services, grocery/marketing services, chauffering services, tutoring services, as well as being a playmate to a 2 year old and a 6 year old WHILST still trying to be a pleasant, cheerful and patient mother and wife. I look forward to the evenings as that is when SuperDad returns home and I have reinforcements to help me out as my batteries sometimes run dry by nightfall.

Wish me luck!

~ Jottings from the Heart
by an exhausted Mother of Four who is ever so thankful to be blessed with a very hands-on husband, a super supportive extended family AND four little kiddos who have been volunteering their services whenever their time and energy permit ... be it sweeping the floor, washing & drying the dishes, hanging and folding laundry. And thank you to you too, for bothering to read through my ramblings right until the last full-stop.

An Extra Set of Eyes

Labour Day 2012 was a historic day for our tween!
That was the day she became the reluctant owner of an extra set of eyes!
Prior to that day, our tween had occasionally been complaining that her eyes "sometimes feel a little blur and watery". Her 'complaint' was often followed by a request to take her to the optician. Her eagerness made it seem like a trip to the optician would be a real adventure...and as though wearing classes was a really cool accesory!

So off we went to the optician after a sumptious dim sum lunch on Labour Day. She happily walked into the dark room to get her vision tested. When the verdict came through that her power was indeed below perfect, she remained in high spirits. That is, until the moment came when she was given her 1st pair of spectacle frames to try on! She must have tried on like a dozen kids' frames before she found one that she was reasonably satisfied with.

When her chosen pair of glasses was custom made for her, reality set in and complained non-stop that she looked like a dork! Though of course, a dork with crystal clear vision! She worried the entire night on what her friends would say of her new accesory. Her highly sarcastic mother shot off various comments on the speed at which her enthusiasm had evaporated as soon as the handing over ceremony of her latest accesory was over. ;-)

The BEFORE picture

Wow! Unbelievable!
My new glasses make my eyes so much bigger and rounder!

      

I like my new look!

Side profile

Our tween greeted the following morning at school with great apprehension. And true enough, her tween friends passed snipe remarks about her dorkiness. When picking tween from school that evening, yours truly here was greeted with pouty lips together with a shocking request to return to the optician to choose a different set of spectacles frames!! Pouty lips was greeted with a ghastly expression from her chauffeur accompanied by the well-used phrase "YOU MUST BE JOKING!!"

Two months on ... our tween appears to have devised an ingenious way of getting Mum and Dad to change her spectacle frames! After a long period of silence for the last 7-8 weeks, she casually commented during dinner one night that some of her spectacled-friends' parents take their kids to the optician for an annual check up..."Mummy, then sometimes their power goes up so they have to change their glasses...you know." Unfortunately for our tween, her no-nonsense mother's immediate response was "can....we can take you to the optician for a check up every year to check your power...we can just change the lens and still reuse the same spectacle frames!!".

Immediate silence.
Bliss.
For now.

~ Jottings from the proud mother of a beautiful dork!
(love you, Ying Han!)

The Proud Dad
Now, father & daughter have an additional thing in common!

Mind Your Language!

It's official. We have a little parrot at home!! And he is quite a talker! He goes on and on and on...sometimes even in his sleep!

The Little Man is at a stage where he quietly listens to what we are saying and then repeats it word for word! Recently his GrandDad praised him for eating his dinner by himself, exclaiming "Good, Man!" whilst giving him a thumbs up. Ever since then, he has been repeating those words, though he initially struggled with giving the Thumbs Up sign.

The Little Man's latest mischief is to label the Little Genius as "Naughty Boy!" everytime someone calls him a "Naughty Boy!". He will faithfully go "San Jie [i.e. 3rd sister], Naughty Boy! Ching Tom, Good Boy!". During Mother's Day celebration, Grand Dad asked "Is Jing Fong a naughty boy?". The Little Man promptly replied "No, Ching Tom is good boy. Mummy naughty boy...scold Ching Tom." whilst cosying up to his Grand Dad. Yes, the michevious little samseng.

When the Little Samseng is in action, instead of wishing "Good night Yeh-Yeh, Good night Nai-Nai" before going home, he will mischeviously go "Good night Pa, Good night Mummy" before dashing out of the TV room where his grandparents are with that little smirk on his samseng face.

The Little Samseng!

I have been faithfully keeping a list of those vocabulary that the Little Man constantly fumbles with. Try and suss it out before scrolling below for the answers.

1. nuan
2. a-cu-me
3. choon
4. pork
5. choom
6. pish
7. con air
8. chweet dreams
9. goon boy
10. bul-do-der
11. kool
12. o-pis
13. sau-kau-po-chee
14. se-nen
15. i luv chu
16. E-zy
17. skua-ty-gad
18. chuating
19. skua-ty-gad
20. chim rom
21. ching tom
22. E-zy

And my all time favourite:
  21.  pipi-det

Whenever I have difficulty understanding what the Little Man is trying to say - especially new words that he has just picked up - his frustration will build up and he will continue repeating it whilst flapping his hands up and down until I somehow manage to work out what he is trying to say...or pretend to understand what he is saying.

It is not unusual for the Little Genius to be able to sometimes work out what the Little Man is trying to say. They are particularly close as apart from his loyal servant here, the Little Man spends the most time at home with the Little Genius during the weekdays when she is back from kindergarten. It is a well known fact that the Little Genius works part-time as the Little Man's translator for her daddy and her grandparents.


His Royal Highness
posing with his
loyal servant & faithful translator

The Little Man got really worked up a few months back when I could not comprehend the following request from him at the dining table ... "Pork choom, Mummy!...pork choom!!". His hands kept flapping up and down and his eyes would go bigger and bigger everytime he had to repeat those words. I tried to keep cool and calm, whilst chiding him that there was nothing to get worked up over as his lunch was about to be served! It took me a while to work out what he was going on about. And when I finally did, there was such a huge sense of relief for us both! He was asking for his fork and spoon! The poor guy.

Another memorable incident happened when I was driving a couple of months ago. He started shouting "Nuan, nuan....Mummy nuan, nuan" and the volume just got louder and louder as he failed to get a satisfactory response from his Mummy. There I was, concentrating on the morning traffic after dropping the Little Genius at her kindergarten, whilst at the same time peering into my rear-view mirrow to study the Little Man's body gestures to try and scramble through my brain to work out what the Little Man was trying to tell me. Talk about multi-tasking! It turns out that the inquisitive Little Man had wanted to know what that odd building structure was along Jalan Duta, just after the Jalan Kuching roundabout. It was the Tennis Stadium!

So now every time we drive past that way, the Little Man would proudly announce : See Mummy, nuan stadium, right? and His loyal servant would reply "Yes, darling. Clever boy."

Just a couple of nights ago, Mr T was changing the Little Man into his full-length romper style pyjamas (which is a hand-me-down from his 12 year old sister!). He has 3 main sets of those hand-me-down pyjamas from his sisters; one with a hole large enough for his toe-thumb to stick half-way through, one with small holes and one that is still in a good condition. As his daddy was buttoning him up, he pointed to his toes and said "See Mummy, maw-hole". Whilst half-engrossed in her reading, His loyal servant (who was then on a treasured 10 minute breaktime) automatically went "Mmm..yes...no hole" without really looking at what he was pointing at. His loyal servant had just assumed that he was wearing the hand-me-down pjyamas that was still in good shape.

He then repeated himself "Maw-hole, Mummy"...and my robotic reply went "Mmm..yes...good...no hole". His raised his tone a little and repeated himself again "MAW-HOLE, Mummy". Feeling a little annoyed at being distracted from her 'ME' time, the robotic loyal servant also raised her tone a little and said "Yes, Jing Fong, Mummy heard you...your pyjamas has no hole!" whilst turning to glare at him. Only then did the guilt-ridden Mummy realise that he was pointing at the small little holes at the foot-end of his pjyamas. Durr..Mummy! The Little Man is saying SMALL holes, not no holes! You should have seen the Little Man's relief when he was finally understood and he gave a soft "hmmm..." when his Mummy apologised profusely for misunderstanding him. (Editor's note: I will try to take a clear photo of the maw-hole pjyamas...so far, my attempts for a clear shot have been unsuccessful)

The hand-me-down pyjamas
with breathing space for
the Little Man's toe-thumb



Look Mummy,
Ching Tom can tickle toe here!



The morning after proved to be another mini-challenge. As His loyal servant was preparing to cook lunch, she asked the Little Man if he wanted to watch TV whilst waiting. Here is a snippet of the conversation that took place:

His loyal servant: "Mummy is going to cook now. Do you want to watch TV?"

The Little Man: "Mmm (nodding his head) ... watch E-ZY"

His loyal servant: "Ok, what CD do you want to watch?"

The Little Man: "E-ZY".
His loyal servant: "Yes, I know. Which CD do you want to watch?"
A very frustrated Little Man: ""E-ZY!!".
His blur loyal servant: "Sorry. Mummy doesn't know what you want. You go and show Mummy ok?"
The Little Man then went straight to pick out Sesame Street's Learning your A-B-Cs CD!!

Mr T too has had his fair share of troubles understanding the Little Man.
On one occasion, we had just left the house and were in the midst of conversation when the Little Man interrupted his daddy with the words "Daddy, Pipi-det! Pipi-det!". He just wouldn't give up till daddy did as he was told. As Mr T and I were deep in conversation, Mr T just nodded and said "Ok, Jing Fong...ok". The frustration he felt at not being understood mush have pushed his perseverance even further as the Little Man continued to scream "Daddy, Pipi-det! Pipi-det!". Only when His loyal servant abruptly ended the conversation and uttered the magic words "Dear, he is asking you to wear your safety belt!" were my 2 favourite men friends again.

 

In case you have not managed to suss out the Little Man's lingo, here's what he is trying to say:-

1. nuan  ~  this one
2. a-cu-me  ~  excuse me
3. choon  ~  phone
4. pork  ~  fork
5. choom  ~  spoon
6. pish ~ fish
7. con air  ~  air-con
8. chweet dreams  ~  sweet dreams
9. goon boy  ~  good boy
10. bul-do-der  ~  bull dozer
11. kool ~ school
12. opis  ~  office
13. sau-kau-po-chee  ~  lorry
14. se-nen  ~  seven
15. i luv chu  ~  i love you
16. E-zy ~ ABC
17. skua-ty-gad ~ security guard
18. chuating  ~  sweating
19. chim rom  ~  Swee Rong (aka The Little Genius)
20. ching tom  ~  Jing Fong; he refers to himself as Ching Tom, rather than 'I' 

And my all time favourite:
  21.  pipi-det   ~  safety belt!!

For some inexplicable reason, he has difficulty saying words starting with F, S, PH!
And he is still trying to master the numbers one to ten. Much to his Mummy's frustration, he has been stuck with one, two, three and straight to senen, eight, nine, ten for the last 5 months! He does not seem to have the patience to repeat the alphabets, but he likes reading books...or rather, to be read to.

As for the Little Man's sisters, recalling the following incidents just cracks me up.
When The Whining Queen had just started Primary Two and was busy labelling her exercise books all by herself. I broke out in hysterics as I checked on her labelling efforts. She had transformed her teachers' names from Ms Pritini to Ms PRETTYNE and Ms Brenda became Ms Banda.

The Whining Queen has had her fair share of difficulties whilst getting to grips with Chinese word recognition. In a moral test question she recently did with her Daddy, the following question was posed to her in written Mandarin:

You only have RM1 with you for your break time. What should you spend your RM1 on in the canteen?
i) buy stickers
ii) buy fizzy drinks
iii) buy sandwich

The Whining Queen very confidently chose (i) as her answer!

As for our First Princess, I can recall a question in a Std 2. English test-paper a few years ago.

John is an orphan. He lives at the _____________.
a) orchard
b) orphanage
c) cemetery
d) factory

I almost fainted when our Princess circled (c) as her answer.

In a Std 2 Moral test (in Mandarin), the following question was posed:
Grandmother is having a headache. What should you do?

a) Play loud music.

b) Bring grandmother's medicine for her.

c) Disturb grandmother from her sleep.

Our Princess wisely chose (a) as her answer!

Bless my little wise angels & samseng who continue to bring much joy, havoc and chaos into our lives!

~ Written from the Heart

by a blessed Mother-of-Four who is living with a little regret in that she did not start a detailed written account of her princesses' early talking days and is now conscientiously encapsulating these precious memories so as to be able to roar with laughter when her zoo members eventually leave The Zoo one day and start a zoo of their own.

I Believe

Sharing some words of wisdom that I recently received from a friend.
Those who know me well, know that I am a collector of inspirational words & motivational thoughts.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.
I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while,
and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.
I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe...
That you can keep going,
 long after you think you can't.
I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
I Believe...
That either you control your attitude,
or it controls you.
I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done,
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.
I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...
That sometimes, when I'm angry,
I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe...
That maturity has more to do  with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them,
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing
And yet see something totally different.
I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.
I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.

My Super Milk Tank

What a night I had!

Although the Little Man is 27 months, he STILL demands for his nightly milk feed at different hours of the night! Feeling rather exasperated, Mr T suggested that we increase his last feed at night by 30 ml in the hope that, that added extra will satisfy him for much longer through the night. With that extra 30 ml last night, my fingers and toes were all crossed for long awaited undisturbed night of peaceful sleep.

I was deep in sleep when the King rang his bell demanding for his bottle of milk. Somehow convinced that that it must have been dawn already, I stumbled into the dark to prepare His Majesty's bottle of milk. I peered into the clock and was dumb-founded when the numbers 02:15 stared clearly back at me! ARGHHHH... He had just had his bottle of milk 4 hours ago! I dutifully gave His Majesty his sleep-inducing drug and went back to light slumber whilst waiting for His Majesty to empy the bottle.

I snuggled back into deep slumber next to my equally exasperated husband. In what seemed like a short while later, the King abruptly sounded his bell again..."Mummy, make milk!".  His zombie-like loyal slave grudgingly stumbled back into the dark to prepare His Majesty's bottle of milk AGAIN. And once AGAIN, the zombie eyes peered deep into the clock and was near collapse when the numbers 05:25 stared clearly back at it! I then forced His Majesty to take a pee before giving him his drugs, lest he is going to jolt his loyal slave from her sleep for a toilet break as soon as she gets back into dreamland.

Unbelievable! Our milk tank had swallowed 460ml of milk in a span of less than 7.5 hours!

Come night time, the King is like a newborn demanding for milk every few hours and it is leaving me with disastrous results as I woke up this morning at 07:00 with swollen eyes that are half its usual size, making me look as if I had been crying in the night!

I'm sure Mr T is going to suggest increasing the King's last feed by a further 30ml tonight....let's see what antics the King will have up His Majesty's sleeve then!

~ Jottings from the Heart
by an exasperated Mother of Four who is still trying to keep up with her quasi-newborn's night-time demands!

A new chapter begins.

Alas, I welcomed my new subordinate just over a month ago.

The first week of orientation was rather challenging as my new subordinate, though originating from the Philippines, was not proficient in English at all. At times, my frustration got the better of me as I quietly pondered as to whether I had inadvertently hired a Cambodian maid or not! I had to speak rather slowly whilst using a little sign language, which is rather difficult for me. As my previous boss aptly put it during one of my presentations many years ago, "it sounds like a choo-choo train when you talk!".

In my moment of despair sometime during those initial few days, I made the following analogous comparison between my previous subordinate and my current subordinate. If J was a BMW, my new subordinate arrived at my door step as a Proton Saga! I should count myself lucky...one of my girlfriends has just lamented that one of her earlier maids was akin to a tut-tut!!

Through training and a lot of patience, I am glad to report that my Proton Saga has since been upgraded to a Toyota Vios / borderline Toyota Altis! There's still a lot of room for improvement.
My wish list for our Toyota Altis:
i)  Smile more.
ii) Tune into the same frequency as my little zoo members and interact more with the family.
iii) Be more creative and have greater initiative especially when dealing with my little zoo members.

Contrary to what was written in her biodata, I have since discovered that she had never worked before nor does she know how to cook. She has been blessed with two boys and a husband who does all the cooking at home!

I also noted that our then Proton Saga appeared to be constantly running low on diesel all the time during those two weeks. One incident that really irked me was the morning when I was rushing out to send our Proton Saga to the service centre for its mandatory health check 10 days after arrival before having to dash off to the kindergarten to pick up the Little Genius. As I was strapping the Little Man into the car, I asked my subordinate to get something for me from inside the house as well as to pull in the laundry in case it should rain whilst we were out. The response really infuriated me as she moved at turtle speed to carry out those tasks when it was clear that I was in a rush to send her for her check-up. What ever happened to employees who made sure they were always on their toes so as to stand out and impress the employer during their initial few weeks at their new job?

Yours truly immediately contacted the car distributor (otherwise known as Maid Agency) to do some tweaking, so the proprietor adjusted its programming to the following frequency "In Malaysia, we do things fast, fast". At least now when the ignition key is set at URGENT, our Toyota does travel a gear faster.

Complaints aside, at least our Zoo grounds are a lot cleaner now and it has freed up our time, allowing us more time coaching the girls in their studies and mucking around with the Little Samseng. AND of course I have time to blog again as well as indulge in baking muffins for the family.
So YIPPEE to my Toyota Altis upgrade and fingers crossed for further future upgrades! I look forward with glee to the day I welcome a LEXUS into our household!

~ Jottings from the Heart
by a blessed Mother of Four who continues to persevere with her resolution to be more patient and to have better anger management skills. I tend to close one eye more, and my reprimands are less harsh than a year ago. I have also learnt to let go of my frustrations or irritation, once the reprimand is given.

Back-stabbed!

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been missing from the blogging atmosphere for the last 4 months. The inability to pen down my thoughts and frustrations on my dear blog has resulted in some pretty nasty withdrawal symptoms. The symptoms include being increasingly impatient and losing my temper at the slightest thing. Regretfully, the victims have been my three princesses, Mr T as well as my parents. Aside from not being able to blog, I have had very little time to catch up with friends. Feeling isolated from the world that I once knew so well was both painful and tortorous.

I had zero ME time.

A pin had abruptly pierced through my bubble causing it to burst with a big bang!

Here is my story.


I have always been the one listening to horror stories about maids from family and friends... I never thought the day would come when i would have my own horror maid story to tell. Perhaps it is because we had been blessed with 2 good maids in the past, Asti and Janette, that I never thought our chapter with Janette would have such a distressful and an abrupt ending. Or perhaps, I had just been too naive.

J was a commendable house-keeper and a great nanny to our four children. She definitely loved them (or so it seemed) and she pampered them as much as she could. Having completed her two year contract in early December, she had agreed to extend her contract for a further 2 years. In fact, she had always been telling the girls, Mr T and I, as well as MIL - my mother in law - that she intends to work for us until the Little Man is ten years old. She was particularly attached to and very protective of the Little Man as they share the same birthdate. At times, one could sense her feeling envious when the Little Man was being overly affectionate with MIL's housekeeper. She always seemed to be the one who was proudest of the Little Man's milestones.

J was scheduled to go home on 10th December for a 17 day break over the Christmas period to see her three daughters whom she had not seen for over two years.  Prior to her holiday, we made various trips around town to help J tick off the items on her shopping list. J's main item was a Samsung Galaxy Y for her eldest girl. It had just been launched at that time; hence finding it at the shops was no easy task, as even the Samsung outlets had not received stock of the new phones. We also shopped around for the best possible exchange rate for her ringgit/peso ... surveyed the market for the cheapest imported chocolates that she wanted to buy ... bought her girls girly stationery ... and on and on.

In the days leading to her flight home, she had quietly told the Little Man that she was returning home for a holiday. Everytime she told the Little Man, she would emerge with teary red eyes. And I believe that was no acting; she was an emotional person. She couldn't tell the girls as we had asked her not to. Ying Han was attending a motiviational camp for up-and-coming teenagers so we wanted her to be able to fully concentrate on her camp. As for the 2 younger girls, we did not want them to make a big fuss and become all emotional as our Little Genius was quite attached to J. In fact, the Little Genius had earlier told J that she would be very upset and cry her eyes out if J went home for a holiday. Hence, the joint decision to keep the plans to the adults until after J's departure. Afterall, J was only going back for a 2 week holiday. Or so we thought.

Befor J left for the airport on a midnight flight, I packed her my supply of gastric medicine as I was afraid that the long journey home may bring on her gasric attack. That small step appeared to touch J's heart as she became all teary-eyed as she thanked me for the little bag containing the gastric medication. At the airport, Mr T went searching for the plastic wrapping service so that we could wrap J's luggage in the plastic wrapper to ensure her belongings were not tampered with during the loading and unloading onto the aircraft.

On the morning after, we explained to the two younger girls that their Aunty J had gone home to the Philippines for a two week holiday and that we had kept the news from them as it was a surprise for Aunty J's family. We reassured them that they would be seeing their beloved Aunty J in a little over 2 weeks. As Ying Han's camp had ended the 3 hours before J's departure, she was able to say good bye to Aunty J after a quick explanation of the situation.

When J did not call us by noon on the day after her departure as we had asked her to, Mr T and I became rather worried. We tried calling J's Mum to check on the status, but there was no answer. We became increasingly worried as it was a long journey home. A flight back to Manila, and then a connecting flight to Davao, followed by a 10 hour bus journey to get home to a far-away province. Almost 21 hours later, she finally rang to say that she had safely arrived. She sounded esctatic and had asked about the kids. We were relieved.

Next came the physical exertion. The Zoo Manager had to work doubly hard to ensure all housekeeping needs were adequately met, including the laundry. I more than made up for the lack of exercise that I have done (or not done!) for the past year!  God bless my little helpers who tried their best to help me out as best as their little hands could manage! As always, Mr T was very hands-on in helping out in every way that he could too.


 

The Little Man with his armour
...the humble vacuum cleaner



        

Hard at Work

    

My faithful Si Bongkok was a
great help washing & drying dishes

Two days following J's departure, Mr T and I packed everyone into the car and sped off to Hard Rock Penang. We had planned it out beautifully. The holiday was perfect...full of relaxation & rejuvenation. Reality hit me hard when we reached home and emptied all our luggage! SIX people's laundry multiplied by FIVE whole days! Arghhhhh.......it took me 4 days of beautiful sunshine to get through all the laundry!

All dirty and smelly!

Sigh...the ironing is
always the harder part!

As I stood by the ironing board with sweat dripping profusely down my forehead, feeling overpowered by the sweltering heat and high humidity, I made a resolution that I had to tone down my temper and impatient behaviour once J returned from her holiday! For if she was not the one helping me, I would have to be the one slogging over all that, every single day!

Just before Christmas, a typhoon had hit Philippines. We called J to check if she was alright. Even my Mum called from across the Causeway with a similar concern. We heaved a sigh of relief when J told us that they were fine, though they were forced to go to an evacuation centre as their home was flooded. We checked on J a couple of days later and she told us they were busy cleaning up the mess that the typhoon had caused to their house. She enquired about the kids... on hindsight, she still sounded normal with no indication of what may have already been looming in her mind.

We made a call to J on Christmas Day as we all wanted to wish her Merry Christmas. Her mother answered our call in a rather matter-of-fact manner and informed that J had gone out and had not brought the phone with her. When I asked her mother to convey our christmas wishes to J, she reacted in a rather distant manner and the lack of Christmas spirit was clearly felt down the telephone line.  Being the pessimist, my immediate gut reaction was to go "Oh, oh! ... something doesn't sound right". That lasted for like 2 seconds before I laughed it off aloud to the ever positive Mr T.
As it turned out, my gut feel was right!

A whole 48 hours later - on the morning that J was to return to Malaysia - we called J to check that she was on the bus from her village to Davao city to catch her connecting flight to Manila on route to Malaysia. We received a big jolt to our system when J answered the phone with "Hi, Ma'am. I am sorry but I cannot come back to Malaysia...my 2 girls have been admitted to hospital with dengue." I was totally unprepared for that and did not know how to respond save to blurt out "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! So When can you come back? Are you coming back??!!!". Those were my last ever words to J before I passed the telephone to Mr Cool T. J told Mr T that she did not have anyone to care for her girls as her mother was unwell too and her father was nowhere to be found. J then told Mr T that she would try and change her flight (though we knew that was impossible as she was travelling on a low-cost carrier) before calling us back. She then hung up.

We were stunned ... in total shock. Mr T went to work in a daze. I tried to keep things normal at the Zoo although the girls knew very well that this was The Day when they were supposed to have their Aunty J home again to spoil and pamper them. Mr T tried calling J in the afternoon only to have J's Mum inform him that she was at the hospital and to call back later in the evening. When Mr T called again in the evening, he was greeted by an operator's voice going "THE LINE IS CURRENTLY OUT OF SERVICE.". Till today, that is the response we get when we call the number. That single act clearly indicates her intention to cut off all contact with the children.

When evening came and the two younger girls kept asking what time Aunty J was arriving, we were at a loss as to how to explain to the girls that Aunty J was not coming back...at least for now. Though we did the best we could, there were tears streaming down their faces and that just broke my heart as I knew the girls looked to Aunty J as part of the family. We had all treated J as part of the family. She would follow us on our holidays to Singapore. When we went out for dinner, we would bring her along too and she would ate whatever we ate. Mr T and I trusted her enough to leave all our four kids with her during our monthly movie date nights. We trusted her and did not hold back any of her salary in her bank account when she returned.

Mr T and I were at a loss for the next few days. It all hit us so unexpectedly as the signs were clear that J did intend to return when she left for her holiday as her much treasured Prince William and Princess Catherine wedding souvenir magazine was in her bedroom, as were her diaries. Mr T was in a state of shock too as he had always prided himself in his ability to read people's character, and oh, how he misread this one.

I could sense that like us, Ying Han felt very hurt by J's betrayal. She loved J and would confide in her on certain things. For some time after, she repeatedly asked why J lied to us and just left us this way. I just did not have any answers for her. Unlike her sisters, she rarely talks about J anymore. The Little Genius was more expressive. On several occasions, she would become all teary eyed and lamented how much she missed her Aunty J. She went to bed one night with Aunty J tucking her in, and the next morning when she awoke, Aunty J was gone. I could feel her pain and it really hurt when I just could not do anything about it. It was especially difficult when she asked me if I thought J would one day come back. Explaining life's complications to a six year old is rather tricky. You need to tell enough so as to satisfy their curious minds, yet you need be cautious of what you say, how much you say and the way you say it so that they do not feel that it is normal for someone that you love to just pack up and desert you without any warning signs.

To ensure I survived unscathed (physically, emotionally & mentally) for the months to follow, I had to take drastic action! As I have never enjoyed an amicable relationship with the vacuum cleaner and old-fashioned mop, I dashed to the shops to buy Scotch-Brit's super sweeper and mop to ensure that the Zoo grounds were as dust-free as possible...in case MIL should pop by unannounced for a spot-check (which she did on the third day of the calamity...I think I passed the test!)

As it was still the year-end holiday, the zoo was at full occupancy rate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This was both good and bad as it meant I had my little helpers with me, though it also meant a very noisy zoo as there were the inevitable squabbles among the siblings over petty little issues. My voice must have roared through the neighbourhood during those times! It is incredible that I managed to retain my sanity to this day!

When the new school year began, there was utter chaos! After getting the 2 older girls ready for school before Daddy Driver chauffeurs them to school, I would rush to hang out the laundry before gobbling down my breakfast and waking the Little Genius up. The early morning school runs to send the Little Genius to kindergarten meant that I had to drag the Little Man out of bed early every morning. Dealing with the grumpy Little Man who threw his temper tantrums at me for distrubing him from his beauty sleep and getting the Little Genius all dressed and fed and reaching the school on time became my daily weekday challenge!

On most mornings, I would somehow managed to sneak in a 15 minute visit to the park on the way home for the Little Man to burn out his energy before tucking him back to bed for a compulsory morning nap so that I could get lunch prepared on time. This arrangement had its perks. The 15 minute visit to the park meant that I could quickly flip through the morning papers. Pretending to sleep, while putting the Little Man to sleep for his morning nap, meant that I could recharge for 10 minutes before preparing lunch.

After feeding the Little Man his lunch, it's time to zoom off to pick the Little Genius from kindergarten at 12.15. During their afternoon nap is when I clean up the kitchen, then toil over the ironing board to sort all the laundry before cleaning the house and then running into the shower to ensure that I look decent and smell good before dropping the 2 younger kids at my in-laws' house, before picking the 2 older girls from school at 5.00 p.m. There were times when the Little Man was uncooperative and would demand to have his sweaty, smelly mummy put him back to sleep should he awake midway through his nap-time.

Mind you, I could only manage enough energy to clean the floors. For sanity's sake, I decided to allow dust to occupy the shelves in our zoo to which super hygieninc Mr T kindly turned a blind eye too (but when it did get too much, he very kindly cleaned it all up). We even managed to do some spring cleaning to welcome in the new Chinese New Year.

Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines! I lamented to my boss that never in my corporate life have I ever had so many overlapping deadlines that were never ending!

A pat on my head and Mr T's too, for during the 3 months that we had to juggle the zoo to make sure everyone was well fed and taken care of, and that the hygiene standards at the zoo was maintained, we worked really well as a team. Mr T took great effort in ensuring that he got home as early as possible to help out at the zoo. Of course, there were a couple of occasions when yours truly threatened to resign but that was all NATO - No Action, Talk Only.

At the end of all the chaos for the last three months, we survived. WE SURVIVED!

I am ever so thankful for my support network. PIL (my dear father in law), who is also the family chef for our family evening meals has been great at ensuring that he cooks meals that are also suitable for the Little Man. PIL has also been of tremendous help as my back-up driver to pick the 2 older girls from school twice a week. MIL too, has been great in arranging for her maid to come over to help out on certain days to clean the toilets, garage, etc.

I still lay awake at times quietly wondering what happened to J that caused her to betray our family. I am convinced that she must have made up a story of her girls having dengue so that we would not ask any questions. Couldn't she just have returned for that extended one year as agreed before proceeding with any other plans that she may have been harbouring? That way, everyone would be happy and my girls need not have had to suffer this painful chapter in their lives. We could have kept in touch (as we do with Asti, our first maid from Indonesia) and the bond between her and the girls would have remained unbroken. I have no closure and though it really bugs me, I have slowly learned to let go.

The events of the last few months have signifcantly improved my fitness levels. The housework coupled with those buckets load of sweat has done wonders in terms of my slimming progress. The downside has been having to constantly nurse my severely cracked heels and chapped fingers. I now have bottles of my trusted Jergens intensive moisturiser scattered throughout the house; one in my bathroom, one in the kitchen and one in my automobile!


Here is an animated view of A Day in the Life of a Zookeeper from 11 Dec 2011 to 15 March 2012.
[Editor's note: Many thanks to the publishers and owners of the clipart pictures used below.]

So yes...our bubble has burst albeit temporarily. We have succesfully pulled through with no major damage (except to our beloved banker for having to fork out the agency fees for my new assistant). I truly believe that we have each moved up a level.

Ying Han is now a little more domesticated...she is pretty good as my part-time dishwasher ...

The Whining Queen who is 7+, now packs her own school bag and showers by herself ... even the Little Genius who is now 6 is very good at showering herself.

As for the Little Samseng, he now insists on feeding himself which is great...I just have to catch the food that inadvertently falls off between that little gap between the edge of the spoon and his mouth.

And he no longer needs to be PAT, PAT on his upper leg in order to sleep. 

So yes, I couldn't be prouder of my brood.


~ Written from the Heart
by an exhausted Mother of Four who is in dire need of recharging her batteries and who continues to look forward to bedtime at night so that she can finally have some much treasured quiet ME time. Unless the kids are all in la-la-land, there is always a high risk of someone barging into the shower to distrupt her peace just so that she/he can complain about what another sibling is doing, or not doing, to her/him. This blessed Mother of Four continues to count her blessings and is learning to let go of matters that are just beyond her control. Having now written her thoughts and feelings out on the entire event, she is finally able to have some sort of closure on this chapter.